The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It is amazing how guilty I still allow him to make me. I finally made the decision to ask him to leave and feel empowered by my decision. I did give him two weeks to find a place. I knew he would do this, but felt I at least owed him this much. I admit to be lsot when it comes to the step work. My emotions are all over the place so i couldn't truthfully tell you what step I am even working on. It feels as if it's a little of each step.
I am so glad you came here and in chat. Al Anon has been my life saver in the stormy sea. It's a gentle process. Took me almost five years to work the steps. Don't worry about which step you are on yet. Step 1 is good to star ;). I am just glad you are here and keep coming. Soon you will learn to not feel guilty for setting boundaries and taking care of yourself.
Keep coming,
Maria123
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Thank you for bringing this subject up, because I am dealing with the same thing.
In my case, I am not being 100% honest with my husband (my A) about our finances, because I need to take care of me and the kids, and I fear that if he would use it to gamble, for beer, or whatever, or sweet talk me into giving it to him. But boy do I feel guilty for 'lying'.
What I have decided to do, with the help of my sponsor (and God), is to give it up to Him.
Have you tried that? It may help, and is basically the first three steps (I can't, He can, I will let Him).
