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Well, my fiance tried to quit drinking. Everyone was so proud of him. It was exactly one week. Then today he, once again, didn't go to work, and I did, well in so many words he cleaned the house, did the laundry and is now at the bar saying he deserved to have a drink (or 10). I am so angry at him. I want to leave but am so scared to. I have nothing, no car, no money saved yet, absolutly nothing. I am trying to save my money but sure everytime I start I have to fix something on his car that I use. I know he was just waiting for an excuse to drink, but I am so MAD!!!! He said that I don't appreciate what he did today, and I told him that I do, it just wasn't a reason to go out and drink. I also told him that I don't care (even though I do) he can go out and ruin his life on his own and when he is done he can also think on how he lost me. I can't go on this way anymore, I need to live my life like a 26 year old should, not wondering if he is driving, dead or in jail. I am going to my first f2f meeting tonight and am very scared. I know I will get through it and will write to let all of you know how I did. Thanks for listening.
Welcome and it is nice meeting you :) Alot of people are anxious to go to their first face 2 face meeting. Please feel free to come here afterwards and tell us how it went. WE understand and do know how you feel. The main thing is that you are doing this for you and your life. Our lives can and do get better when we work our program. It takes time and we do not always notice the changes is ourselves or our lives right away. It is so nice to have support here and a place to go when we need help or just to have fun. I hope to get to know you better. your friend in recovery, cdb :)
Hi boshu - Welcome and it's great you are going to a f2f meeting. Keep coming back here and know that we care about you and understand your pain and anger.
Our stories sound all too familiar. I started my program three motnhs before my boyfriend went to AA. They have to be ready to quit -- they have to hit bottom. You must concentrate on yourself and begin your own program. Trust in God, as you understand your Higher Power.
I hope you realize nothing you could have done differently would have stopped him from going and drinking. He didn't need and excuse if he wanted to.
You could have expressed your gratitude by kissing his feet and he still would have felt he earned or didn't earn the right to drink. It will or won't be his choice.
I know my husband thinks if he changes one diaper he is entitled to the world, never mind the other thousands anyone else changes.
He is going to drink until he decides to stop, no matter what you do or don't do.
Keep going to f2f and keep coming here. Most of all keep taking care of yourself.
Love Jeannie
PS. I will not give you advice, but I will tell you that while I love my children and don't regret them and don't know what I would do without them, I wish someone had told me before I married my husband what I was in for. I might have run in the other direction. Then again, who knows, maybe I wouldn't have.