The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
"Crying only a little bit is no use. You must cry until your pillow is soaked. Then you can get up and laugh..."-----Galway Kinnell
Many of us were raised to deny our feelings; that is, we might have been allowed to decribe them politely, but we were not allowed to express feelings on the spot by wailing, jumping for joy, or dancing. These outward expressions are often considered rude. In a proper home, we often hear, if people have feelings, they have them quietly. But many of us have suffered living this way.
We need a full and thorough expression of a feeling in order to know it, experience it, and move beyond it. This is the way we let go of sadness, for instance.
Feelings come and go. If we are not afraid to let them have their moment, we will not be afraid to express them.
What am I feeling right now? --Today's Gift, Hazelden (1991), April 27th, Daily Meditations for Families
Kudo's to you for sharing that wallsal,.,,,absolutely bang on,,,reminding us,,it is OK to feel,,it is OK to cry,,,it is OK to laugh and enjoy life, we are all human.
Wallsal55, it is so hard to express feelings especially if they are negative. Your post was "right on" about how we were raised...at some point I started keeping my feelings to myself. I believe it was when my dad, who was drinking, said, "Children should be seen and not heard." It really, really hurt my feelings. When I fell in love for the first time, he asked me if I wanted his ring and I said no--even though I wanted it so badly...what was that all about. So my feelings have always been a struggle for me. I see the people today acting so freely, being themselves...and I sit there keeping my feelings inside. Where's my spontaneity. But I guess this is what life is all about...learning about ourselves, changing, and developing into healthy individuals...always a challenge there. Love and peace to you, Annie
Very good quote, and so true. I was brought up to believe that crying was a bad thing. When I would cry, my father would call me a watermelon. When I started to go to meetings, and I would express some hurtful feelings, and cry, I felt so ashamed, because crying was negative for me. As time passed, with the encouragement of others, I began to seeing crying differently. I came to realize that to cry is really a positive emotion. Whenever, a new member comes to a meeting, I encourage them not to repress their feelings, yet to cry, if that what they are feeling. Pent up emotions are what end up making us feel sick, and create sickness. Have you ever noticed after you were able to have a good cry, that you have felt extremely relaxed, and calm as a result? Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I really appreciate it.
