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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Too Soon to Travel?
Post Info TOPIC: Too Soon to Travel?
N8SMOM


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Too Soon to Travel?
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I have this incredible urge to just get the heck out of town.  Since we had to cancel our Hawaii trip, I feel like I've been jipped out of a vacation.  I am thinking about driving to San Diego (it's a 6-hour drive from here).  I think it would be nice to sit on the beach and maybe take our son to Sea World.  My husband likes the idea too and we're thinking about going this weekend.  Here are my 2 issues though:

1.  I would have to do all the driving since our vehicle was released from the impound lot to me (and I'm the only one who can drive it for a year).

2. Would my husband and/or I be tempted to drink?  All of our travels have always involved drinking (drinking in airports, on the plane, on the beach, at the casinos, out to eat, etc.).  I plan to bring this issue up with him before we definitely decide to go.  I just worry that if he says he won't drink and then he does.

He's only been out of detox for 2 weeks and he started is Intensive Out Patient Program tonight.  I just have to wonder if it's too soon to "escape" for a few days.

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Jerry F


~*Service Worker*~

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Mom you will get a lot of support from the inside of face to face Al-Anon meetings.
The program is about changing how we live our lives not ending our lives all
together.  You can make the choice to go or not go and the program says "still
turn the outcomes over to a power greater than ourselves."   There are not
fortune tellers or magicians or guarantee makers here.  You still get to make your
own choices and get your own consequences.   The meetings help make the
process so much more better and livable.

(((((hugs))))) smile

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Karilynn


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((((N8SMOM))),

An addict is gonna do what an addict is gonna do, sober or not.  There's nothing you can do about it.  The decision is totally up to him.  Turn him and his recovery over to his HP.  You concentrate on yours.  Like I said when you posted about your Hawaii trip - go if you want to go.  Do what is best for you and your family.  Jerry is right about getting to face to face meetings.  The best thing you can do for his recovery is to work on yours.  It's the way you can be supportive but not interferring.  Only he can decide if it's too soon to go.  Love and blessings to you and your family.

Live strong,

Karilynn & Pipers Kitty smile



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alanonicScotland


Veteran Member

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i think AA suggests putting nonessential travel on hold in the early days. SLogan comes to mind: "How Important Is it". As a true-blue Alanonic, I can only say that my experience with self-sabotage is something I struggle with every day.

Easy does it. With a history of the behavoir on trips, is it worth the risk just now?


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carolinagirl


~*Service Worker*~

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You can't worry yourself to death and ruin your own vacation because you can't control what he's going to do. I remember once I went camping with me and 4 kids and my AH and he walked away and left us in another state. I had a great time. It's all in your attitude and being determined to have fun no matter what happens.

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blender_girl


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My initial thought is to leave your AH to his HP and you and your kid go have a good time. I'm planning a vacation for just me and my kid this summer - we both love waterparks (AH doesn't), so by golly, we're going to go to Schlitterbahn and maybe even squeeze in a trip to Sea World. This will be about a 5-6 hour drive for me as well, but I don't mind - my kiddo is great travelling companion. My AH will be invited, but I don't expect him to come along - in fact, I'd rather he didn't at this point as I don't really want or need the added stress of his presence. The whole point of a vacation is to relax and have fun, right?

Any way, that's what's rattling around in my head today - only a suggestion - take what you like and leave the rest.

hugs,

bg



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Inpain


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Hi N8TSMOM,

I just wanted to share a recent experience.  In December, I discovered my AH was having an affair.  It shook me to the core.  I kicked him out.  3 weeks later, I allowed him back on the condition we start therapy, he start AA, and we both go to individual counceling.  I had not started Al-Anon yet.  In that 3 weeks I felt trapped, scared and upset at my situation.  I booked a trip to Mexico with my 3 children and a friend. 

When my AH came home and had been dry and started AA he begged to go on the trip.  My friend graciously stepped aside and we went as a family.

Personally, it was NOT a good decision in hindsight.  We were NOT ready.  First, alcohol is EVERYWHERE in resorts in Mexico and I knew he was feeling anxious, and I was feeling horrible.  I WANTED a drink and couldn't because I wanted to support my AH.  It was the most stressful week ever.  We did have moments that it was good, but in reality, I/we were running away from our problems instead of facing our issues head on. 

In the haste of my decision to book the trip I immediately put us in debt $2000.  I lost my job this past February and am looking at that money on my credit card.  We charged more down there too, so it's close to $3500.

I ran from the battle I was facing and so did my husband.  We are both in a bit more of a healthy state, but it was a VERY tough vacation ESPECIALLY for two people who had never had a vacation EVER without alcohol.  What an eye opening experience. 

Now, I think we could do some day trips.  Healthy ones.  Go hiking, go to the beach, go to the Aquarium, etc., but I'm not sure what our next vacation will entail.  I know that me trying to escape with my friend made me feel worse in the long run.  A lot of my decision was based on the fact I felt I was loosing soooo much and it was a foggy attempt to try to regain something, but it was the wrong time as the pain of both the alcohol and infidelity was too strong.  We are still dealing with who we are now without alcohol.  It's scary and we're learning every day.



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BossFlint


Newbie

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I've been diving into various citizenship programs lately, and St Kitts and Nevis citizenship really piqued my interest. This program lets you obtain citizenship through investment and has been around since 1984, making it one of the most established options out there. I recently connected with a consultancy that specializes in this, and they laid out the options for me. You can either make a non-refundable contribution to the Sugar Industry Diversification Fundstarting at $250,000 for a single applicantor invest in approved real estate, which begins at $400,000. This variety is quite appealing.



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