The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thursday night I faced every parents nightmare my son Nicholas 16 was in a terrible car accident. I told Nick he could sleepover a friends house since Friday was a half a day at school I said call me when you get there well after awhile Nick did not call here I called him at his friend Matts house there was no answer, I waited awhile and in the mean time I did some laundry and checked the caller ID the las call was from someone I did not know a friend from school I was guessing. Nick called but daughter was on the other line and just said "Ma nick just called he is at Matts, I asked her for the phone called Matts and yes he was there at that time it was 11:00 pm at 12:35 am my phone rang to my hysterical son saying mom I was just in a car accident we flipped several times the cops and ambulances are here Megan is still in the car through his sobs my baby said mom please come I am so sorry. I got to the scene and my son and Matt were in an ambulance my son covered in blood and Matt with half of his flesh gone on his elbow above and below it bleeding perfusly through the bandage the EMT's put on it, Nick was begging me Mom is Megan dead please dont let her die horror filled me 300 ft from where my accident was back 14 yrs ago where I lost my friend in our accident. A cop came over and the boys were telling him Matt was at the wheel and said someone was in there lane and lost control trying to avoid a head on collison said they were only going 35 mph. the officer told him he was a lier and a young girl may die because of his bullshit that the car smelt of Marj. and such that life flight helicopter was on it's way for her, she needed to be extracted from the car, Nick did not appear hurt but I wanted him looked at, I arrived to my son and his friend in neck braces and on spine boards, and through it all Nick asked MOM if Megan dies how long will Matt go to jail I said I do not know honey think and pray she is ok she is talking good sign, mommy I had to hold her head shut I tried to remain strong since in my accident my head was open brain exposed from ear to ear. Mom my baby said Matt was not driving on the way home I was and I am so sorry dont hate me, My baby and Matt both took Matt's mothers car as she slept her keys were on the table both only have a learner's permit no liscence, Please god dont let this child who is a DSS child ward of the state die she snuck out and no one knew she was gone, Matt drove there and Nick drove back 3 towns away from ours. Nick had an Alcohol and drug screen per my request blood and urine all neg. results but was smoking weed I do not know why it is neg, but it was he is lucky I guess, he has no injuries Megan has some cord damage and many stiches in her head and Matt has to have more surgeries and skin graphing to his elbow. Please pray these three heal well and that court does not convict my son as a theft of an auto he has never had any other offenses, He is a good kid who made a poor choice and truly is hurting inside I can here him weeping during the night. Pray I stay strong and that this wont trigger my A in his sobriety. Thank you all Love cloud
Cloud!!! I am so sad this happened. I had a boyfriend in high school that had this sort of accident happen.
Anyway this is where we need to take one day at a time, and do what you can each day. Don't get ahead of yourself. Your son will follow how you are. You stay calm, and he will.
They will all have consiquences for their behavior. I hope Megan is ok. Head injuries bleed a lot. I hope it did not break her scull? All you can do is surrender it to hp and do what you have to.
I know you must feel so frantic. I am so glad your son lived. My mom had three friends in high school who didn't.
I had friends who died in accidents in high school also!
Your A will do what he does. We have no control over that. When my son put my new jeep in the lake, my husband said something about my jeep I said that is just a frigging piece of metal, my son survived!! The hand brake had failed and it backed into the lake. His dog was inside. He dove down to get his dog out, the jeep turned on its side and that side was locked.
He went back up and some idiot parked his boat over him and Mac, my son hit his haed on the prop. He went back down and slugged the window out,dragged
his dog out but it was too late.
He could have drowned. Called us at 2 am. We drove an hour to get him. He was a mess Felt so guilty and torn. I have never seen him so sad.
I had to shut my A up a bunch of times. I had only been married to him a short while at that time.
Anyhow take care of you , this is so hard on a mom!! You standing by him will change your relationship forever. He will always know he can depend on you.
That will mean a lot. My son is 29 now. Believe me, this will make him a better person. We learn thru the hard stuff.
I was holding my breath as I read your post. You are so right that is every parents nightmare.
My own son drives and I wait to hear him come in each night.
Thank God they are all alive. My prayers are with you and all of them.
There is nothing you can do. They will never forget this, it is probably branded into their minds and hopefully they have learned from it.
You have to take care of yourself and while you can support him, your son and his friends will have to deal with the consequenses of theri actions. But they are alive and they have lived to learn from it.
Hopefully the lesson will not be too hard. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers as the days go by.
thank you all sp much Megan is doing well may go home in the morning Matt is discharged and his surgery went well, Megan has many stiches but her hair will cover it Nick will hang in his friends dont blame him all see they were wrong Matt taking the car and driving first Megan sneaking out of foster home ect. Alive is the #1 thing the rest we can fix Matts mom has been great and understanding so we will make this together. Thanks for your prayers I am gonna show Nicky them LOve you all your the best always cloud
Oh my gosh,,,,you poor thing cloud. Prayers are on the way! What a parent's nightmare! Thank God they are alive! I will try and find you online. I will be at the meeting and will go into PM with you. What can happen is we as parents have to be strong and we go into parent mode. Then later on we have to deal with our emotions, etc. So do reach out and work on your feelings. God Bless,,,,cdb
My prayers are with you, your son & their friends, that all heal physically & mentally. Please continue to talk to your son, or at least let him know the door is open for him to vent too.
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Come back when you need us, come back, we need you.
Your friend, ~De Anna~ 8-D
thank you all so much Nick has been reading your post replies, I am beside myself but I am hoping that we can make it through this I love you guys so much I am so glad I found you guys HP and my inner peace with HP thanking him for saving my baby and his friends. LOve alwayw cloud
Lots of support for you and your son and his friends. I have 3 sons - one still a teenager. There is a lot of pressure on teens and a lot of temptations. I too wait by the phone when he goes out. In the end they are still responsible for their actions and by doing this they will be stronger the next time. Our boys recovering A father just doesn't remember his teenage years accurately. He remembers how smart and responsible his was (not even close to the truth). He is responsible for his sobriety even in stressful situations. Life is so full of challenges.
Cloud, I can not even imagine what you have been going through. A car accident is a mother's worst nightmare. I am so glad to hear that all have survived and I hope that your son will learn something positive from this experience. Life is so fragile. Courage and strength to you and Nick.
