The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I wanted to say that I am so thankful for this website and for all of your sharings. Like all have known I am seperated from my A and I love him dearly. He is in his very last stage of his disease and living with his parents. My son who loves his dad is visiting over Easter break and my a just lost his job after three weeks there because of the drinking. He is unemployable and I know enough about him and a that he is in the final stages. My emminent fear now is that he will die and not get to see his son grow up and be a part of his life. I am working my program and living and letting him live as he wishes but it's really tought when death maybe next if he doesn't make some good choices and choose sobriety. I have no control over that step one i am powerless. I decided that I will SURRENDER him to god and let whatever happens , happen and accept that it'S God's will for me and my son. I was looking for some encouragement and MAYBE some good suggestions on how to get these thoughts out of my mind. Journal, Praying etc
There is always hope,often when the job goes the light goes on, I will pray that is what happens for your husband. Stepping aside and allowing them the dignity to live or die the way they choose is the hardest thing i have ever done in my life. I saw no dignity in dying drunk but just didnt understand that everyone has the right to live or die the way they choose. As i chose to do the same as you are getting on with my life. My husb made it yours just might too and if he dosent u will be ok regardless. keep the focus on yourself and your son.
Joeygirl, I can really relate. My live-in boyfriend is a late stage alcoholic and he too is not employable. He had been active for 25+ years. We have been together 3 years on and off. The first year was bad. He left me and ran off to Vegas after he sold some stuff including an ATV that was mine and still had a loan against it. We were apart for 3 months. During that time he also spent 9 days in jail in Washington State because of a warrant out for him for having stole the ATV. I ended up getting the district attorney to drop the charges against him. I also moved back to CT to live with my parents for awhile. He ended up coming there and going to a rehab and we got back together. The drinking began again but not all the bad behavior that had gone with it before. Last year he was hospitalized twice for bleeding varices and nearly died. He had a shunt put into his liver to releave the portal hypertension that was causing the varices and has been working at trying to maintain sobriety since. The longest stretch to date has been 4 months. He relapsed numerous times during the fall and couldn't even get a couple of weeks under his belt. In early January he started going to AA meetings and is going on 3 months sober now. I am hopeful that he can make it this time but know that only he and his HP can control what happens. All I can control is my own attitudes and reactions. Something I work on daily. I hope that your A finds the help he needs before it is too late and that you continue to help yourself. Miracles do happen - keep the faith.
