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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Worried about brother
Post Info TOPIC: Worried about brother
pepodwyer


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Worried about brother
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          I am worried about my brother who is an alcoholic and drug user.  He lives in Japan


          but he doesn't speak Japanese.  He is married to a Japanese lady, and has lived there


          for 11 or 12 years.  She has money, so neither of them have to work.  She speaks


          English to him, so he never had to learn the language.  He has two masses of hair


          that reach down his back.  He has rejected society pretty much.   He travels around


          and does some art.  I don't know if there ever was a time since he was 11 or 12 that he


          wasn't either drinking or doing drugs.  Supposedly, he's not drinking now.  I'm glad


          but he's not in a recovery program and he still is doing drugs.  It's like I'm waiting


          for the other shoe to drop.  I'm afraid of what will happen to him.  I'm afraid of


          what his rock bottom will be.  I find myself obsessing about it.  I'm at home with


          my young son, so I have a lot of time to think.  To top it off, my husband makes


          beer for a living.  I don't think he is an alcoholic.  He only has one or two beers


         at a time, and doesn't get drunk.  But I am seeing how much alcohol has affected


         my life and the lives of those around me.  Any words of wisdom would be welcomed!


         Laurie


         


 


 



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Laurie
cdb


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Hello pepodwyer,


I think you have come to the right place. This is a place for people that have loved ones that are affected by alcoholism/drug abuse. You can do a search on this page and read others posts and replies, come to the meetings at the chatroom and listen to hear other's stories or go to a face to face alanon meeting. Your part about your brother caught my attention because my one brother who is now 51 recently disowned our entire family without telling us why. It has really broken my parent's hearts because they do not have any reason from him as to what anyone may have done so they can apologize or anything. This one brother of mine never had any kids and has a wife that also disowned her parents. I know my brother has done pot/weed for most of his life. I do not know if he is using anything else at the time because he lives far away from all of us. In fact, all of my family lives in different states and we don't get to see each other very often. I hope that you can keep the communication going with your brother because I know how much it has hurt me to lose it with mine. Alanon has basically taught me to take care of myself and to focus on me. I have been able to have a better relationship with everyone in my family by doing this and by not worrying all the time about my alcoholic/drug addict daughter.


I am not sure if anything I wrote is helpful to you or not. Mainly want to say welcome to MIP and keep on coming back. cdb :)



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megan


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Welcome to alanon.


it is for people who are affected by anothers drinking.


Your brother - the first face to face meeting that i went to one lady was there because she was worried about her brother.


I remember the pain on her face.


I worry for my husband and feel a similar pain.


i used to worry myself sick, obsess about whether or not he was drinking or how much or if he was okay. None of it made any difference and I got sick. and my A stayed sick.


Then I found alanon. I attend face to face meetings and post online.


I read the alanon literature.


I am not as crazy as I used to be.

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Megan If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done
pepodwyer


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Posts: 11
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         Cbd and Megan,


         Thank you for responding to my post.  I think my brother living so far away


       makes it hard, in that I don't know what is going on with him, only through my mother


       who always sugarcoats everything, and is still in denial.  So, on one hand, I can


       put it out of my mind, but then when I do think about him, I worry and assume the


       worst.  My mother has enabled him by supporting his lifestyle at an early age.  She


       shut her eyes to so much of it.  I have worked through a lot of anger towards her,


       but sometimes it still surfaces.  I think that he was probably an alcoholic by the


       time he was in jr. high school.   Finding a site like this is comforting, because it


       makes me not feel so alone!  Thanks,   Laurie  


 


           



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Laurie
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