People Pleasing - Al-Anon Family Group

Phil · Veteran Member

People Pleasing

gardengal · ~*Service Worker*~

Straight to the point,,,thanks for sharing,,Phil,,,,,,gardengal

debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

lol weeeelll i sure don't have this particular trait.. haha I used to really be afraid of people not liking me. But after being a school tutor and working with all ages of kids and saw how they liked me, I knew I was ok just as I was. If some adults did not like me, oh well.

I would go sit with the kids at lunch instead of the stuffy staff room. they just could not understand.

well I guess that is why they put, " too empathetic to the students" meaning I took their side when I knew they were right. There are some real turkeys out there in public school land... give me animals and kids, I am fine.

love,debilyn who would rather go play in a pond and look for frogs, than shop at some mall.

cdb · ~*Service Worker*~

Phil,

Thanks for this post. Say what you mean and mean what you say is a new one for me too since joining this site. Wow, I feel like debilyn and I are related too. I was very empathetic to the kids I taught too. I do try to be compassionate to everyone when I am able to. I am not perfect and I don't expect to be and with my chronic depression and medications I do go through mood swings. This chatroom has taught me not only not to expect that everyone will not like me which I already knew but that when some do not even talk or answer me that it is not my issue but theirs. I may be a fool for continuing to say hi and ask how they are, but I would rather be a fool than someone that is inconsiderate and rude. I do believe in making amends and getting along for the sake of getting along too. But back to the 3 cs. Too bad it has to be experienced in alanon. I also learned another interesting concept. It is called the theory of the thirds. One third of the people will like you. One third will not. And one third doesn't even care one way or another. cdb

Ava · Veteran Member

Hi Phil

Great reminder

You can please some of the people some of the time, but you can never please all of the people all of the time.

Ava

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