The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thanks to all of you who said prayers! One more thing for me to not be worried about now. The only thing is, the doctors' still don't know what happened to him, grrr. Only that he had two Life Crisis. That's easy for them to say. Oh well. He has already used his 9 lives up anyway. All I can do is take care of me emotionally. I called to make an appointment with the accupuncturist and found out that I made the appointment yesterday already LOL. That is typically how my body works. I fall apart after the crisis are over. But now with the 12 steps, maybe I won't do my same old pattern.
My daughter is still an inpatient. She went to court today for the night we called the police and she got cited for disorderly conduct and minor in consumption. She pleaded not guilty to buy some more time so she can prove to the court she is trying to clean her act up. Whatever. I still find my mind having racing thoughts about her and the situations she has been in over the years. Maybe a mother's instinct but the thoughts are not doing me any good! I am trying to stop them with the help of this chatsite and my HP. I did have a better nites sleep last nite and did not need a sleeping pill, but I am jittery today. With fibromyalgia, a person can go into what they call is a flare after alot of stress. I am hoping that by being able to process things here that I will not have a flare and be able to cope in a physically healthy way with my daughter's alcoholism and inpatient treatment. Thanks again! cdb
Thanks for responding to my post about my daughter. I'm glad you're dad is out of the hospital. I hope you continue taking care of yourself through all of this stress. It is so important to find the special little things that make you feel better and more at peace. I imagine that is different for everyone. I enjoy listening to books on tape when I am driving. I have a long commute to work and if I don't have those books on tape, I find my mind wandering over the same stuff and starting to worry if I did the right thing or not. By the way, my daughter is 21, she'll be 22 in April. She had 2 MIP and this 1 DUI. She did a little time in jail and many months of court ordered counseling as well as the twice a day breathalizers (which she passed.) I'm not sure alcohol is her drug of choice, in fact she has told me it is pot. At any rate, it is time for her to handle some of her own financial stuff. She also has bad credit, I offered many times to help her learn to budget but she has not taken me up on that so I assume that bankruptcy will be something she will look at some day also. It is time for me to back off, for her own good. She can't get an apartment without a cosigner so she'll have to figure something out by next Fall when her lease is up, I won't be cosigning again. Ah well, it is her life so may God bless her as well as myself and all of us!
I used to do A.A. meetings in a well-heeled neighborhood, where once a woman at a table was stressed out because a flat tire on her Mercedes had been changed out with a tire that did not match the remaining three tires… stress is stress, I guess. Anyway, one morning I had stated that the only way I knew I was alive was through pain. Another table member gasped. There was a time that I so much envied those that had the guts to commit instant suicide. Death just seemed like such an inviting place to be. Now, an eon of years later I am so happy to be alive, even with my very bad aches and pains. I am having fun amongst people, wonderful heaven type of fun. Today, I want to be alive. However, I still cannot wait to die. But, it is different today. I now Love my God and not hate my God as I did in the past… if there were a God. I cannot wait to be Home with my God. With my imagination stunted by the structure of language, I just cannot imagine the peace and joy that I will feel when back in, around, and as God or Pure Love. I envy your dad being so close to his real Home. I hope that I have said this as gently as humanly possible.
cdb, I hope that you can, like me, come to let feelings of worry or any negative feeling just come in one door of my mind, me saying, “oops, there’s another one”, not give it / them much life at all, and let them just go out the other door of my mind. I do not fight the feelings, I let them be, which includes in not giving them much life.
If your husband and you mysteriously ascended to that other heaven and no longer in this life, what would your daughter do?
Thank you cbd for taking the time to reply to my post, and support me when you are going through your own things. Takes a strong person to do that and im not able to offer any support right now but i thought i would let you know that.
Thanks
kerry
__________________
Life can only be understood backwards, But it must be lived forwards
