The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I went to the grocery store last night at the urging (I should say pestering) of my teen daughter. We went together and left the other two at home. I'm about 2/3 of the way done with going down every isle (I guess that's a girl thing) and the phone beeps I got a msg. Then I pick it up and it rings and guess who? Ya you all know. So I'm walking down the isle shopping and the connection is HORRIBLE and he keeps saying are you there, did you hang up on me? And I'm trying to talk but it's not really working. So I did hang up because I figure he won't know the difference. Then he calls back and I answer and again bad signal. The call gets dropped almost immediately. So I go on about my shopping and leave and then listen to the voicemail he left in the car.
He says I'm looking for a job, I'll send money soon, I hope I can see my children again, I miss you, etc.
I just thought it was so funny for several reasons. First the last time he called me the call got dropped too. Second the old me would have run out of the store to talk to him and I didn't even get the urge to do that. The other funny thing is that my daughter who dispises him said she had just been thinking about him and wished that she could talk to him face to face to say what she wanted and he couldn't do anything to her and that was when the second call came in and I said ok go ahead LOL. She declined to answer. I had also been talking to my mom about him on the way home from work and saying how easy it had been to get rid of him by just not answering emails. I guess I attracted him to call by thinking about him LOL (the secret).
Today I get this email talking about how we should meet and talk about divorce... and all because his calls keep getting dropped and I haven't answered emails LOL.
The power of thought!!!! Amazing isn't it? You and I are so much alike it is funny. They way you described the old you and how you would have run out of the store to get a better connection so you could talk to him......that is me. Sometimes I am the old you/me and sometimes the new. LOL.
HP very well may have had a part in it, but don't forget to pat yourself on the back too! You are the one that didn't answer the e-mails and it was your intentions that brought things where they are.
wtg! Christy
__________________
If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
were n't you already working on the divorce. I can feel the 180 in me. Before I was always trying. Now I am beyond trying. He is out of the picture full stop.
Yes, me too- i would have ran out of the store to get a better signal. No more. So funny- its like who was that completely freaked out woman anyway?! Geesh!
I, too, have completely pulled back in the communicating. Its really helpful and all it takes is fierce determination in the beginning and then it becomes like clockwork.
I read somewhere that it takes only 21 days of repetition to learn new habits- this is such a good thing to know and for me, I think it is true. I feel like if I can stay on track with a new behavior for 3 weeks or one month, it will be "inputted" into my system and become like 2nd nature. I heard about this via exercise programs. If you go running every morning for three weeks you will just put your shoes on w/o thinking after that and its more likely to become clockwork. I think this is the case w/new behavior re: the alcoholic.
There is no way I would go back into that. I am so thankful for this program!!!
Yes, I too would have nearly killed someone while I ran out of the store and gone into a babbling meltdown with a faulty connection, its nice not to have the string janked all the time, a good feeling.
Jean's suggestion about the 21 days to a new habit is absolutely true. I have struggled my whole adult life with learning to brush my teeth regularly. Gross, I know. But When I heard the 21 days thing I was so releived it was amazing. You mean I only have to think about it for 21 times? I was looking at the whole rest of my lif.
Anyway it worked and not just on me. It worked for my ds and even my still using at the time AH. We are now proud daily tooth brushers. Yeah!
Sorry to highjack your post. Just wanted to share that. I am constantly amazed at the changes in us all as we work this program.
In recovery,
__________________
~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
