Sorry for your loss , We  have a saying here Let It Begin With ME
You say your brother won't open up or call if troubled , u can make a point of calling him ,just to let him know that u are thinking of him and that u love him. Let it begin with me has restored more than one friendship for me over the yrs.   Even if he dosen't responde the way u think he should just keep the lines of communication open . and let it begin with you .   (hugs) Louise

hi Foy dear,
I'm happy 4 u 2 have program.
About a year ago I was involved
in a serious concussion that let
me go into a coma. Prognosis
not good. Using the tools of
the program, I did recover back
to walking unassisted, and I
leave volumes unsaid in that
comment. the bliss I encountered
on the other side made to return
again difficult, however, my work
here is not done. It was like an
al anon meeting event is going
on over there -- much joy / bliss.
In my family we have had a series
of ppl recently crossing over, however,
for me to join them was not my
time. I no longer vvrestle with their
crossing over never the less. I hope
this helps.. I still lay down on the
floor when shots are being fired
outside my door or can actually
run from a fire now and to do so
in peace.. Its difficult to put into
words, however, for what its worth
the person is in a peaceful spot.
gentle paths n light n oceans of love :)
getoverit

I'd say, just keep the lines of communication open - call him every now and then, just to chat "How's it going?" 

I found the day to day stuff sometimes overwhelming when I also had heavy emotional things to do.  So, for me, it was helpful when people took care of some normal everyday things for me, so I could deal with the hard stuff.  My sisters drove to my town and mowed my lawn and did a bunch of yard work, for instance. And a sister came to stay with our animals while the kids and I went on  a little trip to spread ashes, so I didn't have to worry about a kennel, or getting someone in to feed them.  That kind of thing can be a lifesaver - it gives emotional support, because it shows people are thinking of you, and it also really DOES something needed.

Losing a spouse is so devastating because they are involved in so many aspects of your life.  EVERYTHING is affected.  At the time when you are in the worst emotional state of your life, you have to deal with every single tiny detail - for example, since the bank accounts had to be changed over to be just in my name, all the automatic deductions stopped coming out, and the satellite TV bill didn't get paid for three months.  This would not have been on the top of my "To do" list!  There are dozens of stupid little things like this, and they tend to spring out at you.

Foy's,thank you for asking me.

You know I believe it is harder on most men than women. They usually don't have lots of friends, and men just don't know how to help each other with emotions much.

My friend lost his wife. He needed people to bring him food he could freeze and just take it out and warm it in the microwave. They need someone to eat with them. I honestly got so anorexic and wanted to die too.

Sit close to him,  hugs are nice, but to have someone sit close is wondeful. You feel so raw and alone, even when others are there.

I forgot if kids are involved?
you are grieving too, don't be afraid to cry together.It is ok if he cries, tell him it is very ok to let anything out and tell you anything.
I remember holding things in that I saw that were pretty awful.

Sharing it helped.
Encourage him to lay down even if he cannot sleep. HE needs to keep hydrated, slow thick blood is awful especially when you are grieving, just makes  ya feel worse.

It is such a horrible open wound. He needs to know whatever he feels is normal and ok. And tell him when people say stupid things, they don't mean to, they just don't know the right stuff to say.  Time does  not heal anything unless you are doing your best to put one foot in front of the other.

You have to learn to get used to life alll over again.NOTHING is familiar anymore.

Tell him when people say, get over it, go on with your life, to say, Ok if i had a broken foot would you tell me to get over it and walk on it?

A broken heart is the hardest thing to heal and it will heal when it does.
Actually  it will NEVER completely heal. So it is ok if years and years later he may start crying about it once again.

Mine has been gone twenty six years. I still grieve him once in awhile.

OH and he may need to know he will dream about her. It is sorta bitter sweet.

Foy's I have such real dreams and wake up and remember they are all dead. It is horrible.

IF someone can stay at his house for  a day or so, I hope they do. He may say he needs to be alone, don't allow it for a couple days. many spouces die very soon after they lose their mate. young old, does not matter.

since i lost this husband to brain damage and relapse, I have to really keep it together to not off myself sometimes.

It is ok to think about suicide. Some of us cannot help  it. But what is important to remember is, you don't want to die, you really just want things to be ok and different so what are your options?

broken heart syndrome is a hard one.

Love is all there is to get ya thru. Please send him my love, I mean it, I sure do understand.

And most men will marry quite soon after. just to letcha know.

much love to you and yours too. debilyn

Please know I extend my deepest sympathies to you and yours in your time of grief