The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Unfortunately, infedility is part of the disease. Alanon teachs us not to make any rash decisions at first. Alanon gives us the tools to make whatever decision we feel is in the best interest of us. Please find yourself some meetings and put the focus on you where it belongs. I know this hurts, but healing and recovery is absolutely possible for you regardless if the A chooses sobriety or not. This program has been a lifesaver for me.
Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty <-- the cat
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I am so sorry. For me the infidelity was worse than the drugs. I couldn't make it jive with the disease model. I did leave. Then we worked on things and I moved back and wound up, after years of working on it, leaving for good. There are NO "shoulds". You do what you feel you need to in this moment and be kind to yourself. It is without exception the worst thing that had ever happened to me. I am sending you hugs and prayers.
Thank you. I agree that it is worse than the drinking. He has admitted everything. It went on for two months and she is half my age! Now I understand why he was drinking so much more. He was stopping to see her a few days a week and drinking, plus his usual drinking days. I knew something was up but had no proof until I found a text on his phone telling her what hotel room to meet him in. I am so devastated.
He ended it immediately but I can't help but not trust him. He says he loves me and wants to stay with me and work things out, that she just made him feel young again. He's 42. She's 21 and lives with her married boyfriend. I'm still here but I am taking care of my finances just in case. He hasn't had a drink since Thursday but he has band practice this Thursday and I'm afraid of what will happen. He's a different man when he's drunk.
I'm so upset about the cheating that I can barely think of the drinking. I am so afraid and so broken hearted.
