The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It's been a while since I last posted. We move into our new apartment on this next Wed. - Halloween. It is cheaper and closer to work so I won't have to take the bus to work anymore. My Ah has 3 DUI's and lost his license 4 yrs ago and can't get it back until next year. I haven't gotten my licsence renewed, and am scared to get it and a car because he'll probably end up taking it and having another DUI and Kill someone, or himself.
On top of moving he went into work drunk and now he is fired after working there for 6 yrs., and making good money. And do you think he's quit drinking????? Of course not! He did for 2 days and then, he's back at it again. I'm so dissapointed..... I was really hoping this would be the thing to make him wake up and smell the coffee.... but obviously I was wrong, for the hundreth time.
Why? Why can't he see that everything bad that has ever happened to us has been related to his drinking? I know, I know,,,, it's a disease, blah blah blah.. I am so tired, sooooo tired of this never ending cycle. Now it's come to him loosing his job! I know he's sick and needs help, but I'm tired of waiting for him to do something about it. I've gotten the books, I've read them, and I come here from time to time, I've stopped looking for the alcohol that's hidden and stopped making excuses for him.
And that's why he got fired, because I didn't stop him from going to work, even though he was drunk,
But I'm glad he got fired, I'm so glad because I feel like he should be, and even though it sucks, I hope that maybe he'll wake up from this and if not I don't know what I'll do. One day at a time, I guess. Thanks for letting me vent, chris.
Aloha CJ... You're right...It sucks!! And you are powerless over it. It is a consequence of his compulsion to drink in spite of the negative outcomes and that's crazy or insane. Might as well go back over steps 1,2 and 3 (they are in our literature) and start looking for face to face meetings in your area so that you can face this problem with people who have solutions that work. That way you won't feel so alone and helpless. Can't outwit this disease or the alcoholic. Might as well go learn how to outwit your reactions to it.
Learn about the whole program of the Al-Anon Family Groups and how it is done. That way you won't be going at the whole problem with only part of the solution.
Hi chris, You're right, that sure does suck!! It may get worse before it gets better since now he has more free time on his hands. You may want to think about some money boundaries for now. Protect yourself and your wallet. I can't tell you how many times I've heard of debit cards and money being stolen when they aren't working. They get desperate and do things you may not expect.
Do yur best to take care of you, Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Christy is absolutely right... protect your money... open a new account that he doesn't have access to... anything you can do to protect yourself. I learned this the hard way.
My A/Cocaine-addicted Ex H spent everything we had and then some. He lied to me about it and tried to cover it up. I'm now divorced from him but I'm still paying off the debt (which he cleverly managed to put in both our names). He can't seem to keep a job so I can't count on any of the court-ordered support from him either. I'm stuck. Much better off without him, much happier... but stuck paying off ALL the debt by myself.
Just be careful and take care of you! Artygirl.
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Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain.
Hi all, Thank you all so much. I do have the money situation taken care of. I'm very independent and have always had my own bank account. We share nothing, not credit cards or bills. Our rent, telephone and other things we split. Always 2 rent checks, one from each. That does make it easier. Thank you again for all of your support. Chris.
Now you can focus on what you really want here. Because my finances were completely shared with my ex, I couldn't even go to that place of focus on myself, too much of my life depended on him, and man, he was NOT dependable! So I endured until I couldn't anymore and took the financial hit of my life.
You go girl. Stay close to your support system and make sure you have some fun on purpose. All you can do is take care of yourself anyway.
Well as you know the only thing you can control is you. It sux that he lost his job but you don't sound too upset about it so I guess it's ok? Anyway, be lookin out for YOU now!
