The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Not only me, but my house, my kids, my life, it seems. I keep handing things over to HP then taking them back BIG TIME I want to be with my mil on the other side of country, still no place to live it has been a week since we were supposed to go. i cannot keep my life here on hold... it feels wrong and scattered and crazy and powerless step one ...l am powerless .... and it feels awful. Powerless in a disempowered way. Just got the awful diagonsis for my MIL. Lung cancer ( never ever smoked.) spread to adrenals, brain, bones, lymph. Sigh. Just writingit makes me cry I am so sad I need to be more focused, start taking care of me, do the things like, eat, sleep, etc in a positive life affirming way, things I have not been doing too well. Anyways.. needed to get that off my chest. Can't stop crying
I am so sorry to hear that diagonsis for your MIL. My dad died of cancer 17 months ago. It must be so incredibly hard for you not being able to be right there with her physically. Take care of yourself even in your grief. I wish I had some great words of wisdom to help with your pain, just wanted to let you know you are not alone and I will say a prayer for you all.
I know in times like these it is hard to see that things happen right when they are supposed to. I have to remind myself all the time "I am right where I am supposed to be to get where I need to be" Keep doing your part it will all fall into place. Remember to ask you HP because the HP will help in whatever way you need... Hang in there. Be gentle with yourself. Hugs
Bless your MIL. What a burden to bear. In Alanon we learn to take it one day at a time. Sometimes that is one hour at a time or even one minute at a time. Take care of yourself.
I am so sorry for what your going thru it is like u say a totally powerless situation , one of those things we truly cannot change . Acceptance does not come easy in times like this . When my husb was diagnosed with cancer I lke u totally fell apart could not focus , but a friend reminded me to take care of myself that all that could be done for him was being done by the doctors and I was not going to help him any by falling apart . I needed to be strong and together for him . Alot of prayers and good prog friends I was able to do what had to be done . I would call them and rant and rave and fall apart and they just listened and go home and keep it together for him . I hope that u can get to see your mother in law soon , u obviously love her very much . I will be thinking of you , take care of you . cry it will help . Love louise
Sending you all the love and prayers for you and your family. That feeling of powerlessness is the worst feeling in the world. Like others have said, and you know this, the best thing you can do is to take care of you. The dishes and the house will wait. Your health and well being will not. Taking care of us, is one of the ways we can feel less powerless. It seems selfish, but it's not.
Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I know how you are feeling when it comes to this. My mother has cancer as well, I have a daughter that has Cystic Fibrosis and a MIL that has Sceloderma diesease. You can only take care of what you can not what keeps coming and coming from all directions. I know you are feeling completely helpless and wish you could just change it all. We all are powerless over things that do happen that are out of our hands. If you stop and take a minute you will discover that "hey I am doing a good job" and that you are handling it better then you have ever imagined you could. It is very hard to give things over to HP and not take them back. We all have a free will and yes we all use it very well. You are doing fine, you will make it, things will begin to work out. Every thing takes time and every thing happens for a reason. Even though we don't understand why at the time it does. You are not alone, even though it seems that way. Yes the hurt is there. I had to learn how to look at all the hurt, this way I could deal with it on a step to step basis and then and only then could I learn to go on with me.
I want to thank you all so much for your love and support during this crazy time. I have been buoyed by your support so that I can at least stand on my own two feet today, take a breath, and do some kind of self care. ( I even made TWO smoothies for myself today, and had dinner!!_)
I am feeling like all the love coming at me is helping me to make some kind of decisions. My little ones were getting ill from all the stress. When I said it was best for us to stay home at this time, my daughter started to look better right away, in an hour she was looking and acting great! She was so relieved to have some kind of decision.
It feels weird.. to really let go and need to be here again. Though a relief, it is feeling like I 'gave up' , not let go.
Perhaps if things change in a few days, I will be in acceptance of that too, and be willing to keep an open mind to whatever happens.
As it is today, none of the emails I sent out asking for help came back at all.. so that is a sign, stay here. lol. no choice!!
I am doing the best I can. Thank you thank you thank you thank you for alll your loving wishes, and kind thoughts and words. It is so amazing how that can help. wow.
