The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
the crazier the world seems. Is it me or has anyone else noticed this? My best friend caught her husband with porn on his computer, my other friend's husband of 15 years left the state and now has a new girlfriend, my other friend caught her boyfriend with another woman. My ex contacted me after breaking up with me. I found out later he liked to frequent strip clubs and was going to date a stripper on drugs. My daughter's afterschool daycare provider had a heart attack. I observed her behavior and always thought that she was on overdrive and she would kill herself because she never stopped to take time out. I'd rather be alone than deal with all the drama. I have no room in my life for anymore drama. A simple life seems so much more desirable. Am I just now recognizing the dysfunction in others?
Interesting kisser. I liken it in part to coming out of denial for me. I always wanted to be a good role model. So when my AHsober left, I didn't know what to say or do. But I guess his "leaving" behavior was there all along. I am past midlife and a baby boomer. Most of my close friends have hit a bump but at least we are all in this together. Many 30+ marriages like mine are over because of booze and women. My best friend from high school lost her husband to brain cancer. She has since remarried finding a mate on match.com. Go figure. My other friend's only child died at 16 from cancer. Too cruel. My other friend's adoptive daughters are acting out in their late teen years with violent druggy men. My sister and brother are both raising their grandchildren because their children are on drugs and alcohol. Painful for all of us. I still want to live a good life if for no one else but myself.
I like to think that I am just more aware of the craziness around me because that type of behavior is no longer acceptable to me and that it is a sign that I am working my program and it is working!! How well I practice detachment from the craziness is another matter altogether. Some days are better than others. On the days when I "slip" into my old compulsive, obsessive behavior, I try to remind myself that it is all about "progress" and not "perfection" and to give myself a break!!
__________________
Do not be anxious about tomorrow; tomorrow will look after itself. The Bible, from Courage to Change, p.138
I understand what you are discribing, and yes I have seen it too.
For me it was troubling at first, until I realized that it was always there... I just didn't see it because I was so wrapped up in my own issue that I couldn't see it. It has become a sign that my eyes are now open.
The tools allow me to now see it and not feel it for everyone. I don't have to fix it all just because I see it.
Hang in there, what you describe for me is real growth. *smile*
Take care of you!
__________________
"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
I'll jump on the bandwagon to say I think we don't see it until we "rise above it", so to speak. Not become better than others but just aware of our own "stuff" enough to see others doing their "stuff" too.
A few years before I met my exA I attended some Buddhist meditation/teaching classes. One thing the monk said was that growing awareness is NOT all that pleasant :D . You start seeing suffering everywhere, but it was already there all along. It is growth to see what you are seeing, but we all know how suffering goes along with growth (ugh!)
Stay strong, there are lots of bumps on this road . . .
I had a counselor I worked with at a treatment center tell me one time, "embrace the chaos" I realized it was so hard to fight against it, to try and figure it out. I wanted calm and contentment....but maybe my HP didn't have that in his plan. Once I started embracing it things seems to calm down. I also realized that other's drama was thier drama NOT mine. I would listen and then tell myself to LET IT GO..... Hang in there, be gentle with yourself. Hugs
