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I had to call my mother for money today. I am overdrawn, again and no hope of getting any money from the ex. Still no hard copy of divorce so child support will not do anything till they get that. Fine, even when they get it I doubt I will ever see a dime. Whatever. My mother. She says ok about the money. I say thank you, I really apperciate it. Then she starts. Why don't I call my cousin and ask her for money ( the cousin who is excutrix on my dad's estate, who I have seen 3 times in my whole life. Who is owed money by the estate.) My mother is just "curious" as to why I don't just call strangers and beg them for money. I explained that it is very hard for me to ask her for money and my father's estate and what goes on with it is none of her business. It isn't. She starts screaming at me (again) that she has a right to know, she NEEDS to know, there isn't a reason she shouldn't know. Then she says "why would you talk to me about things when you were buying your house and now you won't? Why can't we ever have a pleasant conversation?" There was more and more but that's the edited version. I was doing ok knowing that I have to suffer this to get the money to be able to cover the checks for the bills. I have explored lots of other options and I am getting to a point where I am almost able to get another job and/or go back to school. Just have to get the youngest one off to kindergarden and then I will have my days free. That's next year. Till then I do what I can. Way to justify, right? In response to my mother I just say " I have been in councling since I was 12 and I have wonderful conversations with everyone else in my life. I am done with trying to have a conversation with you. If you want to have a pleasent conversation with me, you figure it out." I hung up and curled into a ball and had a tantrum. Why does this woman effect me like this EVERY SINGLE TIME??? She pulls the same things as my ex. They are exactly alike. I know I can't change her. I try to deal with her with respect and kindness. She drives it right out of me till I am exactly like her. A bitter, snippy, bitch who is only thinking of herself. And I hate being that way. I don't want to be that way. I want to be myself but it is impossible for me to be myself when I interact with her. Same with my ex but with him we were on the same page with lots more stuff. She is in a whole other book and I don't want to read it. I have phased her out of my life as much as possible. I can't completly because I need her finacial support right now and I don't want to take the kids away from her as they have lost so much already. But I really can't stand her. I hate myself when I am dealing with her and I can't figure out how to do it differently as hard as I try. I give up. If I had any energy or self esteem I would pack up and move. Just me and the kids, fresh start. Nothing keeping us here really, and in fact lots of reasons to leave. I am just sick of being abused by her at every turn. For what I am unsure. If we don't have the financial tie we have nothing. I guess I can just remember this and not do it to my kids. Not much chance of that anyway as I won't have any money to lend them. UGH! That's a positive! Yeah, that was a 3 minute converstaion with my mother.
I have certainly been round the block a whole lot about getting money out of the ex. It is heart wrenching stuff. Can you put the squeeze on him for the child support. Do they have collection agenices where you are.
Sometimes we have to go through rough transitions. I know what it is to be in not a very good place. I get great solace knowing it is not for ever.
Oh those ex-s.. In a feeble attempt to jump way over that? I had to jump. My classes are nline. I am eligible for aid from school - the per semester thing. I am getting certified in bi-lingual or second language learner and the special ed, or all ages learner also. And its online, where financial aid is dispersed to me per semester.
A post here recently said Rosie you can do it - and so do I - u go gurl!* oceans of love 2 u and all you are connected to dear :) getoverit p.s. give the babies a hug from me and all of us.. and my puppy wants to play with the kids already - woof woof - she is such a lil ham - lol * That is to say to attend a fully accredited school - transfer credits to a university type of school - stay away from the fly by night schools.
I like the part where you said she is in a whole other book, LOL. I am sorry you don't get along well. I still don't really understand the whole estate thing? Anyway, I hope your day gets better! You know you CAN go to social services and have them put through a support order without the divorce being done. I did that and it's already in effect and I haven't even filed for divorce. If any of your kids qualify for medicaid or state health benefits it's free to have them do it - well at least in NC. I'm pretty sure if you call the support enforcement office at DSS they will help you establish and order. The divorce proceedings could take forever and you need support now!
