The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
the A's alcoholism and drug addiction has not progressed to the phase where he is a sociopath.
When my dog went missing on Monday I spoke to him. His response to the situation which had me very very distressed was to try to con money out of me.
I think I have really resisted seing him as a sociopath for a long long time. I have made excuses, I have felt bad for him, I have glossed over.
The fact is the only thing he is now concerned about is himself.
I don't think he was always that way but I do know that I settled for less and less and less all the time. I also settled for being behind every other single person he encountered along the way. I was the most disposable.
I am no longer willing to do that. I am absolutely sickened that he would use Pepi's disappearance as a time to try to con me out of money.
I have of course told him all this and more. There was news this week that his car (which he put on his Uncles property) is now damaged by mildew because of all the junk he put in it.
So that's over $50,000 worth of cars he has destroyed in 5 years. I find that unfathomable.
He goes to court on the 9th October and I am pretty sure he is going to jail. I was however pretty sure last time he went for a hearing and he got out.
Whatever happens I am not going to forget that when I was vulnerable and upset the only thing he could think about was himself and his needs.
Maresie I've been thinking and worrying about you and your dog since you wrote about her disappearance. I'm so happy that you got her back. I just can't imagine how someone can be so cruel and self-centered. I guess he's really shown his true colors.
Take care... Artygirl.
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Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain.
Sociopaths aren't made, they're born. I read this great book I think it was called the sociopath next door or something like that and it said that 1 in 30 people are thought to be sociopaths - completely lacking conscience. The thing is that people don't just turn into this, it is a mental disorder they are born with the inability to empathize with others. They can be VERY charming and appear as normal but in the background they are constantly manipulating and pulling strings just to mess with people. It was a good but scary book, I'm sure they have it on Amazon. I guess the point is that if he is a sociopath, he always has been, it's just that you can see it now as it is. Sociopaths are COMPLETELY unable to feel love for others, they can pretend to but inside they really don't feel it. Scary scary people to be avoided at all costs. I'm sure he is just caught up in the addiction and in that case there is always hope that he could see the light (although it seems unlikely at the moment) but in the case of sociopaths there is no hope, they can't change. Back in the old days their numbers were limited because the town's folk would just take care of the problem, but we can't get away with that anymore and now they continue to multiply LOL.
Alright, I'm going to act like an A and "blame" CG for making me post about this stuff (he he). This stuff went round and round in my head with my exA . . . it's like he had NO FEELINGS at all for me, unless he wanted something from me, and if I disappointed him, he'd start pushing buttons to get a reaction, like he was feeding off of my pain.
It made me wonder if my ex was a sociopath or another personality disorder, it was like the cage was spinning but the hamster was dead. No one "home", at least no normal human being. I think now I was looking straight into his disease, and it ain't a pretty sight.
Whether it's their disease or an inborn thing like sociopathy, our response is the same. Outrage! It's just so . . . WRONG.
This is extremely sad, I hope it doesn't upset anyone . . . but last winter I had an injured goose who I had to put down (euthanize). It was the hardest thing I've ever done but he was suffering. While I was holding him after the injection, my idiot exA burst into the room bawling and crying and wanting MY ATTENTION!! I could have killed him right then, seriously. It was so outrageous. And so awful. I hated him for that, and after the emotions calmed down, I really got the sense this guy had no real feelings for anyone but himself. This was before I joined MIP, and in retrospect, this is when something inside me snapped and the long process of letting him go began.
SO GLAD your puppy is OK, the little fart! Can you find out from the pound how she ended up there?
Sorry again if my goose story was upsetting. He passed away very quickly and peacefully, and I believe, thankfully :)
