The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am a 43 year old, child of an alcoholc mother and MIA father. I cut off contact with my mother over 10 years ago. Her drinking left me twisted in knotts inside. All the lies, promises and just plain insanity, was just to much. I want a peacful life. With out the caos. But I must be doing something worng. Because my best friend of 30+ years is also an alcoholic. She agreed not to drink while around me, (without ever admitting she has a problem. I think she believes it is my problem, because of my mother). And that has worked for about 3 years. Now she has medical problems and is taking narcotics like crazy. I believe she has an adictive personality and is now abusing these drugs. My bigest problem is that when ever I am any were near anyone who is intoxicated. I get extreamly nervious, shaky and my stomach is twisted in knotts. It is like a pannic attack. I can not get away from it fast enough. Even if they are in my home. I have to find a reason to leave. I am so tired of running and want to find a way to make a stand. Stand up for me. I know I have the right to be happy. Will my life continue to be marked by drug and alcohol abuse?:
I know exactly what your saying. And believe it or not "YES" you can and will get by this. I grew up in amongst alcohol. I hate it, hate alcoholic attitudes, behavours. I RUN from anyone who is intoxicated...lol
After 2 years in Al-Anon, I have just spent four days with a guy I met online. AND he was drinking. OMG, I bought beer for him....I can't believe It myself..lol...He was not drunk, just happy. And Because I wanted to be with him, he is NOT and alcoholic, just a social drinker. I let myself take the chance, and It worked.....we had a wonderful time together
I decided IF I wait for a guy who is T.Total, I will probly end up with an AA member...lol (NOT)
It takes time, and practice. I would encourage you to stick with Al-anon. I'm 36 years old......and only starting to LIVE again.
As for your friend You didn't cause, you cant control her, and you cant cure her. All you can do Is remove yourself from the situation until you LEARN how to accept it......
Keep coming back you will get so much help here. We also have a chatroom 24/7..pop into see us.....
Ally Girl, Thank you sooooooo much for your words of encouragement. I really needed it. I keep looking for the lesson in all of this. But I have not found it, Yet! Personal boundries are hard for me. It always seems okay for other people to get what they want, while I wait.
I know what you mean too. Being around druggies makes me squirm. I hate it.
In this program it will get better, though. You will learn how to detach and let people live their own lives as they see fit, even if they choose to make things hard on themselves. Boundaries has been a real hot topic recently. You might want to go back and read some recent posts from the last couple of weeks or so. It might be a good place to start.
Welcome to MIP. Keep coming back here, and find a face to face meeting if you can. This program really works to help us heal. People here really do understand what you have been and are going through.
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
