The material presented
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So...yeah...there's really no good way to talk about this...to make a cute, nice intro... I'm seriously thinking of turning in my dad to the medical board. Wow there it is. And I'm laughing because if I don't I'll cry and already my neck hurts so much because I didn't sleep and eating was like not good this morning and yeah. And I'm reminding myself of all the leads I've heard where it goes "when she threw me out blah blah blah" and all of the sudden it's like "I don't give a !&@#^!!!!!" And I just talked to someone in my sponsorship family to help me get honest with myself because I need to get honest that I would rather live in the dysfunction cause its familiar and known rather than be direct and straight and keep on recovering. "I want you to tell me Marge 'Hey, you don't have to do this, you can let him keep on destroying his life, being a danger to others, and so on and so forth,'" I said to her, "I want you to say, 'Hey it's not your job to save him, not your business to prevent the unpreventable,' and the reality is Marge if you did that you wouldn't be a good friend in recovery because I've got ethics now, and I've got a conscience now and I've got a sense of honesty so deep and deep rooted that I can't lie to myself any more without lying to others and without destroying my life that I've built from the ground up based on the 12 steps.." Marge told me that I've gotta do it. She told me I might not need to do it today. Today might not be a good day. That I might want to give serious consideration to how un-level my thinking is. How emotional I am "well duh Marge I'm talking about turning my dad over to the authorities" There's a time and a place to handle these matters with a thinking pattern, Sarah, she said If you're doing it with God, she emphasized, you do it with God based thinking If you do it without, you do it with the kind of thinking you're thinking right now The kind of thinking where you call 4 or 5 people, asking each of them what they think about a situation you know the answer to. The kind of thinking where you obsess and spin and run around in circles, not looking at the facts that allow you to take a reasonable action. The kind of thinking that doesn't look at the situation the way Joe Friday would "Just the facts, ma'am." If you're doing it with God focused thinking, you're thinking with your heart. And God notifies you. You don't insist on now. Always get a sponsor with the same character defects as you. They can call'em as they see'em and never be wrong. I don't know what the right answer is. But I'm always afraid that God's timing is gonna be off when I have evidence, tangible evidence that this is never the case. Explain my logic to me. Somone. Please. And of course I'm afraid of what waiting on God means. I think most of us can relate to the idea that if God ran on our train scedule than the trains would collide, but at least, momentarily, we'd be happy. So, I'm trying to remember the now. The now is here. And it involves...the moment. Yeah.
Tiger....I have a song that might be of interest. PM me and I'll let you know where you could get it. It's called Breath. LOL
If I wasn't trying to work an honest program I'd rip it and send you the MP3. LOL but I'm beginning to try to practice these prinicples in all my affairs. LOL
That said, for me when it comes to major things, the things I think about are motives, expectations of outcomes (do I have any), and finally what my HP tells me through my inner voice and heart.
I do also sometimes get in touch with multiple people to get their feel for it. The stongest ones in program are the ones that will share their ESH, talk to me and reaffirm my program principles, reaffirm that I'm a good person, reaffirm that I deservere to be happy, and then give me ways to find that answer within. Either through a series of questions to ask myself, through a prayer or through a meditation.
Just know Sarah that your chosen family is with you EVERY step of the way !
love in program, Bob
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You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
Oh Sara. I'm so sorry you are in this kind of position. Getting ethics and a conscience is hard, and sometimes it doesn't make you very popular even with the people you love the most. My AH and I discussed this very thing recently. He was upset with someone because he had been honest with them and they had rejected him anyway. I told him he wasn't being honest for them. He was being honest for himself, because that is his new standard to live by. What they do with it is their business.
Anyway, just know that we are here for you. We care. We understand, and we love you.
In recovery,
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
I don't know what your dad did to you but it must be horrible if you're thinking about turning him in to the medical board. Are you talking about taking his licensure away?
Sorry you are feeling this way and I hope you get some down time to think this through. ((((TIGER))))
Sometimes when I don't know what to do, I don't do anything.
This program, for me, is all about balance too.
There's also "S/he has their own higher power, and I AM NOT IT."
I have had two situations where I had to contact authorities. It was a gut wrenching decision. One was regarding a child. The other was an employee who was drinking on company time (he was drinking, I could smell the booze a mile away though). I am not sure what happened to the child at home especially. But the employee situation turned out real well. He was put on work probation and mandated to attend an alcohol program. He still has his job today. I can only fantasize that I helped his family some.
Love ya, Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
I agree about checking your motivation. How many times do we see a drunk get into a car and drive? Do we call the police? Not usually. But now if they happen to get pulled over on their way home and then face the consequences of their actions that's a different story. I'm not sure it's our job to create the consequences, it's our job to allow the natural consequences to happen and not cover up for them. I think if he is having issues with his medical practice then the effect will be apparent in time in which case he will create and deal with his own consequences. I watched an episode of lost...LOL same story the guy was a dr. his dad was a dr. and alcoholic and he killed a woman. The son was going to cover until he learned that she was pregnant and then changed his mind and informed the board that he was drunk at the time of the surgery. So from that I gained, when on the spot don't cover but also don't set out to destroy. Just my 2 cents.
It was a full day yesterday. I did go to the police, file a report. I then asked them to come to the house, so that if he blew, I had back up. He wasn't home. Perhaps it was a good thing. So, I went back to my place (after apologizing to the police, I felt so bad for dragging them out there), and a letter from mom had arrived. In it she detailed how I had abused my parents, treated them like I was an entitled, over absorbed and self centered child. I must've really been centered or really exhausted, because I couldn't stop laughing. The police sgt suggested, someone professionally needs to interviene. A peer, like a councelor or another dr. He might not listen to you. My sponsor, when I filled her in, was not upset. She was impressed. She suggested likewise. She said that, in this case, he will probably see me as "a little girl." I'm going to assume the people that are asking about my motives are asking to make sure I know what I'm getting into, not for any other reason. I've gotten that question alot recently so I'm a little...befuddled. Alot people are asking "do you know what you're getting into?" "do you understand the fall out of this?" And the answer is...well, to some degree, yeah. To a large degree, no. But I've gotten to a point that I really can't live with how things are now. Ethically, any more, I can't live with how things are--I want my dad to know that I love him and I don't want him to die this way. And, quite frankly, I don't think he has the right to put other people at risk like this. Now, personally, I think there's gonna be a nuclear holocaust because I'm gonna open my moulth. But I'd rather open my moulth and get in trouble for that than live with the reality that some one died and I did nothing.
yes, there are times when difficult decisions have to be made and neither alternative or choices are pleasant, if someone died and someone could, it was becoming more and more possible your silence could have been a contributary factor. In a way and I do not mean to minimise this for you, it is like risk management, has to be done
I can't speak for others but for me a motive check isn't about the consequences, the "what I'm getting myself into" it's about really looking deep inside to understand why I'm doing something.
I'm not questioning your motives, I just know that w/ such a tough decision, a motive check, program check (talking to those in program) and Step 11 would have been huge for me with something like this.
Bob
__________________
You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
Explain my logic to me. Somone. Please. 
