The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have found all the months and months of learning how to detach from the A are coming to good use in my current life. One of the people who live in the house I live in is very destructive and to put it bluntly vicious. I am able to detach right away and focus on what I need to do. Normally I would be awah in over reaction. Right now my entire focus is working on having better choices for myself. Most of those involve money. I am kind of sad because one woman in the house I have become quite close to is over inovlved with this woman. I know now I have to set distance. I am really trying to learn from it jsut as I did in the last house. What can I do? How can I take care of myself. Those are all signs of better boundaries. I am also trying superhumanly not to obsess over how difficult things are for me. As my credit is shot for the time being my options are very very limited. I've been lost in narros options before and I'm trying not to go there anymore.
One day at a time sometimes one minute at a time I am working towards a better life. For me that's personally without the A. I did not hear from him yesterday and it was a welcome relief. I feel none of the normal overhwhelmoing dread I normally feel when he's not in touch. I am no longer responsible for his happiness, he is.
you are doing great Maresie and its hard to learn the lessons of detachment but so worth it in every situation, you do not have to pick up parcels that don't have your name on it, I know the routine of vicious people well, it would bring you down very quickly,
yay, yay, yay... you sound so much better! I hear your posts talking more and more about you and less and less about him. I think you'll find that the more you detach the less you'll hear from him because it seems that they learn much faster than we do about trying to get bread at the hardware store. Once the pity and money have dried up they move on to suck the life out of someone else. I think too you'll find that the longer that goes on the more relieved you are when you don't hear from him. I know that's how I feel. I dread reading the letters now because I know they are full of poor me, boo hoo, etc. I know that I have gotten to the business of actually living my life instead of having any part of it revolve around him. It sure is freeing! I think you'll find that the more you let him go the more your own problems will begin to resolve themselves. You will attract healthier people and find help in the most unforseen places. I know that has happened for me. People give more of their time and help to me now than EVER when I was with him.
