The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
There are a lot of changes happening in my life these days. It is a lot to keep up with. I have an understanding now that change is generally good, but it is still difficult to adapt so quickly. My AH is really making good progress right now and I am almost feeling hard pressed to keep up. I have to keep reminding myself that we grow at our own pace. It is not some kind of marathon to be run.
We are starting to get along pretty well. We are talking more than we ever had and for the first time in our entire 13 yrs together I feel like I am being heard. It really is wonderful, if a little bitter sweet since we are separated. However it gives me some hope that things could get better to the point of being real partners in this marriage relationship someday. I believe that is what will be needed for me to be able to live with my H again.
We are both now learning how to live our own lives, like we should have learned in our teens and 20s. At the same time we are learning how to be whole individuals, we are also learning how to blend ourselves together in respect and love to make a true partnership of two whole people working together. This is how a marriage should start. So we are basically going back to a new beginning.
It feels pretty good while at the same time very scary.
__________________
~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
Jen, Through all that you are going through, your perspective sounds really great. You sound very healthy and in a good place to truly work your recovery for you! Sending you my best wishes.
Jen, Thanks so much for sharing, it is really what I needed to hear today. I so want my relationship to work, but ah is just starting the process and it seems dim at the moment. I'm hanging onto 'this to shall pass'
Thanks for good thoughts, y'all. I have been feeling the need to speak. Thank goodness you are all here to listen as I am not able to get to as many f2f meetings as I need.
Wendy- I will keep you and yours in my thoughts. We never really do know if they will make it, but we will make it, whether they do or not. I try to have confidence in the process, mine and his. If you haven't read Codependent No More by Melody Beatie, its a great book. It helped me to detach and have that measure of confidence to let him fall. It is hard to stay detached, but I'm just trying to work my program and let him work his.
Have a good day. Don't forget to do something nice for you today.
__________________
~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
