The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today was the last day of my 4 day weekend. I was disappointed on Saturday because I didn't get the furniture the guy had promised. Started my jaded thinking about guys and how they always let you down - but not for long.
Anyway, today he came to meet me to help me move 2 twin mattresses that I got for free from a woman having a garage sale. They were put together as a king. When he showed up he had a full bed and frame for my middle daughter in his truck. Then we picked up the others and he helped me carry them in. I have only ever met this guy once for about 15 mins so really I didn't know what to expect of him. It was nice though and I appreciated his help so much. I also got a dresser delivered that I bought at the thrift shop on Friday, bought some oops paint in pink and got some nice heavy metal black knobs for it (it had orange drawers and really old knobs that they didn't bother to take off when painting).
So I got all that in the house, and as soon as he walked out I stripped, put on a swimsuit and ran down to the beach to go boogie boarding alone. It was awesome, I caught 5 or 6 good waves, the water was warm and the sky was blue and cloudless. It was about 80 outside and a gentle breeze blowing. Just the perfect day. I felt overwhelmed with a sense of greatfulness, for the beds, the dresser, the perfect day with perfect waves and being able to catch them and ride them out. There's nothing quite like that feeling of getting on the wave just right and having the power of it rolling underneath you. Both in and out of control at the same time.
Got home and had oldest help me set up both beds and took out the drawers and removed the knobs and (gasp) let her paint them! I was a total control freak about the newspaper on the deck and normally I would just take over and do it myself. It was really hard for me to trust her not to spill or drip paint or mess up in some way. I walked away and went to pick up the other two and by the time I got home she was almost done. Now she has a nice dresser. Mind you she's 13 and very capable (If I let her be LOL).
Now tonight, for the first time in 1 1/2 years, I'm sleeping on a REAL BED!!! The air mattress is a thing of the past!
That is awsome! I had to laugh at the air mattress! I had one when I first left my ex and the damn thing would deflate EVERY night. I would wake up on the floor in pain and questioning my decision making skills!
And good for you letting your 13 yr old paint the dresser! I won't even let mine decorate the christmas tree. We all laugh about it but really when it comes to things like that I just love to do them myself and get irritated with any distractions. I have let go of alot of things and let my 12 yr old do more than I ever thought I would and she too is very smart about it all.
What a great day it sounds like you had! Have another one tomarrow just for the hell of it and then another the day after that just for me!
That sounds like a lot of progress for you. I bet it gave your daughter alot of pride to do that all by herself. There are a few good guys out there. I'm glad you found one of them ;) Keep up the recovery.
I guess he's good but then I think I am easily fooled LOL. Anyway, I think it gave her pride too although she will NEVER in a million years admit it. It was nice to let go and not make everything my responsibility!
I am I think where you were a year ago. I have basically nothing living in deprivaiton and wondering if I will ever move out of it. I caught up on one bill, 4 more to catch up on (not alleviate just catch up on). I have a shot at moving next door and am ready to go. I need more space and room for my pets and a chance to breathe. I am so glad you followed through and got this place. You sound very happy there.
good for you, it encourages me to know how far you have come, I am at the stage where I am seriously questioning my decision making skills as I have the ex-A in my home and he is in la la land as usual but at least I'm taking responsibility for me, the boogie boarding sounds great,
I loved reading your description of your beach experience. I could totally visualize it. You sounded free,happy and grateful.
Congratulations on your furniture, having a real bed, and most of all, letting your daughter paint the dresser. I think that may be a huge step in recovery for you, I know it definately would be for me!
You life is unfolding before you. It really does work if you work it, huh? You are an inspiration.
I am proud of you!
Blessings, Lou
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Every new day begins with new possibilities. It's up to us to fill it with the things that move us toward progress and peace. ~ Ronald Reagan~
Sometimes what you want to do has to fail, so you won't ~Marguerite Bro~
