The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My AHsober called after a week. I am 2 1/2 weeks into recovery from my 2 shoulder surgeries. I have been getting rides from family and friends to my PT and doctors appointments 2 hours away. My AHsober showed up for 2 days and then left. When I told him that I was going to have surgery, he said he wished that he felt something for me but he just didn't. He said that he would give me a ride on his way to the golf course. I know that it is the disease talking. In my self pity party and pain from my surgery, I thought why do I even talk to him because it is always the same avoidance of me. I am tired of it. So I thought with some meditation with my HP that I just needed to quit talking to him until something makes sense. When he called tonight he said how are you doing? I said why are you asking me? He said I just hope you are getting better. I just said goodbye. Why ask if you are not going to help me out? Why ask if you really don't care? Well, that was my response for today. Thanks for listening.
I hope you are doing ok after your surgeries - the long drives, PT and recuperating from surgeries are so much but you are doing it so well. It's not easy asking for help but none of us can do it all on our own... I send blessings to your friends & family for the support & rides.
I can not figgure out if it seems self centered and unable to relate with any emotion types of people use alcohol more to stuff anything related to their emotions or not knowing what to do for/with people they love OR if alcohol just destroys that ability of empathy & compassion first thing. If my A can't solve the problem he is ready to hand it over to anyone else and some how blames others for the problem at the same time. I agree it doesn't pay to understand them, it must be part of the disease.
You are taking good care of yourself by not dealing with someone who does not give you good vibes while you are in this healing process. That can be figgured out another time, I agree. Sounds like a great response for today. Keep taking care of yourself one day at a time because you are so worth it!!
hugs from ddub
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"Choices are the hinges of destiny." Pythagoras You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
I'm sorry he acted like that. He could have at least showed some compassion. He does sound very self centered. I hope you heal well. You don't need him. Your in my prayers to get better ^i^
Sounds like goodbye was the perfect response, dear. Keep hanging in there and standing up for you.
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
(((nmike))) I notice that with my boyfriend, the more I put myself first, the more he respects me and has compassion. That is not why I am putting myself first, but it is an interesting aspect of it.
Sending you healing wishes for a complete recovery from your surgeries.
