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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I spoke to the A today one day before he has to go to court. He lives, eats sleeps fantasy. He has a broken pair of glasses and is walking around looking really wierd as the glasses are broken and it amkes him look crazy. He refuses to go cash in on medi-cal which he is eligible for because he is "moving" so he claims several states away with no transport (the truck will be in the shp for weeks) and no money. . He continues to live int the place he moved to a few months ago. I stopped paying rent there for him 6 weeks ago. I am not going to pay anymore. He found a way to pay last month's but he has no money to pay this months.
I think he has always lived in fantasy. There was the fantasy of his having his own business (that invovled sacrifice on my part). The fantasy of moving (that was the most destructive) where he felt entitled to ask me to go be homeless with him because he needed my support. He is almost delusional. I am not going to buy into this fantasy of boing several states away. So I am keeping the dog for the time being. I hope they take him into jail tomorrow. I can't see why they wouldn't but who knows. I wish I could have taken the dogs earlier. I wish I could have seen his "delusions" before. His uncle has been talking about them and stating his behavior is out there for months. His uncle pointed out that he moved north to a place where he claimed to have a job and there was no job. He also claimed to have a place to stay and had nothing then he ended up starving in a field.
I am jsut going to fob him off in future. HIs fantasy of moving up north cost me enormously. That cost me sleep, it cost me money, it cost me my home, it cost me everything. I am fed up with his delusions. He can't accept reality on any level. I am not going to try to get him to know reality anymore.
I used to want to talk him out of these delusions. Now I don't. I just let them go. He must be finding some money somewhere to pay for his phone so I am going to stop paying for his storage up north. i think this may be the time I get up the courage to just cut him off. His delusions have cost me enormously.
Totally cutting the cord is hard! I know all about the delusions... I just say ok let me know how that goes... Send me a postcard... Although to the credit of my AH, he would get the idea to move and it always worked out but he worked hard and always had a great job lined up. There is no talking out of delusions, I just roll with them now. He says he's going to do this that and the other and I say ok, I'll look forward to that. The last letter I got from the jail said he was going to get a great job (considering he's worked for 3 or 4 companies here and they all KNOW about him, he has no license and is unable to be insured anymore it's not very likely he'll make much) and send me 1k a mo for support. I laughed to myself. I used to get hopeful it would happen. I hope now but I sure don't count on anything. I told his mom about it and she said I should tell him I'll use that money to pay the rent, I won't pay my money for it and if it doesn't come then we'll just be out on the street (not like that would ever happen). I thought that was funny, like ya I'm holding my breath and relying on his money LOL. I remember when I did. I'm glad I feel confident that I can take care of us on my own now. Any money I got from him would be gravy. I could make a fat payment on the credit card I'm surviving on until tax time. The point is, they have their own reality and they have to find out on their own that it doesn't work. You have been bailing him out in the past by financing his escapades, but now that's done so when he tries his fantasy and it doesn't work out maybe he'll realize that reality is a better place to be.
Actaully I barely gave him enough money to survive on. For whatever reason these delusions have been there for a year now. Some of his delusions were things he could do. This flight from reality is ingrained. I do understand he does not want to be where he is. At the same time you have to work where you are now you can't just run off especially when you have pets.
I've also noticed because I read his criminal stuff that he does generally plea out his stuff. i believe he may plea out tomorrow as a wy out of it. He can't pay the fines, he can't finance a trial. He has no where to live from next week. He really has few choices at all.
i have told him he can't have the dog. I am not going to give her to him while he's off in his delusion. I dont' need that stress of worrying about her.
I paid for his storage for a while now I am going to stop paying for it. He has the offer of a place at his uncles he refuses to go there. That is totally incomprehensible to me.
The truck is severely damaged. He claims the insurance company is going to fix it but that has been something he's claimed for the last month. If and when they do fix it, if they do generally a repair like that takes weeks. I have made it really super clear to him he can't stay with me so he will have to stay where he is.
I do sincerely believe he will go to jail tomorrow and sadly I think its the best place for him.
