The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Interesting responses to my post on the police report, I never said I enjoyed his pain, I said I would enjoy having some truth for once.
In any case, the report was vague and so light you couldn't even read the original. It did show that he was driving though which was my primary concern. Now somehow between Friday and today it has vanished. I am going to scour the house and car for it so I can get it faxed to the insurance company.
Also, it's not an invasion of privacy when you're getting information to clear your own name! I refuse to be saddled with the responsibility for his behaviors anymore!
He is getting out of jail in 3 weeks and I have no doubt I'll be his first call when he gets out with nowhere to go, no money, no clothes, etc. I'm not looking forward to this time at all.
As far as that phone call you are dreading..... Just remember that NO is a complete sentence, if you even choose to take the call. You sure aren't under any obligation. "NO" is short and to the point. There need not be any explanation at all. By the grace of HP you have 3 wks to prepare and center yourself. Ideally it'd be great if you knew now what needs to be said. Then you wouldn't have 3 wks of angst and your focus could be on much better things..
Take care, Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Hello, first I believe it was when your post said,"entertaining" reading. We all know how emails can be taken in a different way than we meant them too.
Also in my experience, that behavior is taking someone elses inventory . I feel it is none of my business. For me the less I know, the less stress. I know he lies, I know he gets into trouble. I feel sad about it, as they are so sick. But!!!!!! I also did not know you needed the report for your insurance. I sure hope it clears things up. I sure know how ya feel. My A made so many messes and I am just able to pay one of the two loans the end of this month. just one left.
You are doing soooo well. Look at all you have accomplished!!! moving, job, home, major decisions besides those. NOT enabling A. Protecting you.
I Hope our responses did not hurt you. Looks like many of us got the wrong idea from your post. Sometimes we do have to clarify!! I am forever taking things wrong....
much love and I know you will find it!!! love,debilyn
I guess when I said entertaining I was really thinking aha I know what he said and now I will know the truth. Caught in a lie entertaining basically. No such luck though but I know in my heart that most of what comes out of that mouth is either a lie or a manipulation of some sort so I guess the moral of the story is that I should just TRUST MYSELF and my instinctive feelings about things he says or what he may or may not be doing.
well I certainly didn't say that. I know I relate to the truth. I see more and more how the a lives in fantasy and how that affects me on many many levels.
I find it hard to stay out of his chaos. There is always some hook to pull me back in. Today I confronted him about taking the truck. He claims now he is moving to another state. I am not sure how he can get there with no money and a court case hanging over his head.
I have told him not to come up and see me because I do not want to deal with him. I have postponed returning the dog to him. I cannot deal with his fantasy, chaos and lies.
I can also relate to losing stuff and being on overwhelm. This weekend I spent much of it moving stuff to storage. It went well on some levels but I have to watch how much fantasy I have. I still want the tall dark stranger on a horse to come rescue me. I am willing these days to sit with my fantasies and not act on them. That is a first for me. I still so long to have someone to lean on and partner with. Obviously I am not going to get that a raving codependent.
I have seen people change that in program and I am determined to do it. I am so sick of it. I konw I cannot survive another one of these relationships.
Carolina, as well as faxing it, I hope you don't mind if I advise you to photocopy it and register to the address. Find out who the key person is to send it to in this manner. This shows that you are taking this seriously enough to look after what you need to . I am glad you are so responsible and able to be. I am proud of you as this is not an easy call.
