The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
just wanting to share, i've been caught in a pattern of comparing and self- criticsim since an old freind visited 2 weeks ago. in my mind i want to see her as the loving one, i've invested in this belief about her, as have other freinds. but when she visited she was talking about freinds as having low or high vibrations, meaning they were enlightened or not and i didn't like it. by her standards i would definately not be enlightened. i have been arguing over this for the 2 weeks in my own head. i've worked hard to loosen this pattern of self argument and have been much better, but this visit has brought it all up again. it's like the discrepancy between my idea of her and the reality causes me so much confusion that i turn on myself. i'm accusing myself on being unloving and bitter. there was a lot of alchohol consumed by our partners on this visit and at one point her husband teasingly called me bitter and twisted. that really hurt because i'm afraid it's true. my priority in my own life is to be loving to my kids- that's number one! this week i am not as available as i would like because i'm being so hard on myself that im wearing myself down. my second priority has been to love my partner as best i can. and my third has been to try to have the courage to use my artistic gift, which i feel is god's free gift to me and i want to show my gratitude by using it...... now i can hear myself i'm probably taking all this way too seriously........ esh please? well my experience is that my freind judged and gossiped and interfered in everyone's business, maybe i'm getting well enough to see it, maybe she was having a bad week. i have to let go and accept these facts even if it breaks down my ideal of her. i had a bad week because i looked for bread in the hardware shop again!!! i've also been looking for play and chat from my husband because we are in a new country and i'm learning the language but not enough yet to get past polite formal talk. thanks for reading such a long post....this forum is a blessing, thanks everyone
I think you are just getting on with life and concentrating on you, and your friend's partners opinion of you is really none of your business. Its his opinion, you sound as if you are doing great and I think people around us don't like that if they are in difficulty. Have a good week with your kids.
I think your "enlightened" friend has some more studying to do. If she is coming from where I think she is......She would be accepting that we are all one energy and are part of the highest energy. Some people do have low energy but "enlightened" people are here to lift other's energy, not bring them down further or berate them..
Earth is home to all of us. We all live here and have as much right to enjoy our lives as the next person. We may be different in our appearances, our languages, values, and beliefs, but we are all equal - equal in the eyes of HP, equal at the core of our Beings.
You seem to be questioning your "goodness" because of someone elses perception. It's their illusion and you have unfortunately taken it on and let it bother you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Below is something I read that explains how that process works.
Questions direct your thoughts and 'directed thoughts' are what we call FOCUS. Your focus directs your feelings. Your feelings direct your actions. Your actions direct your results. And your results direct your destiny.
This means you can design and create your destiny by designing and directing your questions.
One of the biggest reasons people fail is because they ask themselves disempowering questions - questions that limit their effectiveness and their ability to become successful or find their own place of highest good within. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I consider myself a student of enlightenment and always will. There is so much to learn at every turn and every instance that I doubt I will ever call myself "enlightened". To do that I'd have be like like Jesus Christ or Ghandi. There are those that are called "light workers", which I can relate to much more.
After all the yapping I've done here, my bottom line is: Because someone states they are at a higher place then you, or spiritually enlightened, means to me that they are not where they think they are. A truly enlightened person would bring to you the joy of feeling at ONE with the energy of highest good.
Please don't allow another's judgement to affect your kind nature and make you doubt who you are. Empower yourself by KNOWING you are a good person and act on and BE that goodness. As I said, their judgement is nothing more then an illusion, theirs. There is no need to make it yours also.
Namaste',
Christy
__________________
If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
You sound good to me, like you're doing what you're supposed to do. I wouldn't concern myself with what other think and if I didn't like being around them I would find people I do like to be around. That's just me tho.
Also...you have the right to protect yourself from people who are toxic to your mojo by detaching from them, whether physically or emotionally or both.
Hi Florrie, thanks for sharing this painful as it is . . . I am just beginning to understand and "see" my tendency to look to others FIRST to tell me *something* about myself. They can offer all kinds of feedback, but do I have to let it in? It's a boundary thing.
In this I'm learning to listen to my gut. When my gut is roiling around like you say yours has been since this lovely visit, I'd have to wonder if I'd been "dumped on" somehow. Crapped on, even inadvertently or carelessly. I'd listen to your gut here.
It's not so much the details of what they "said" it was the negativity in which it was meant. People are carelessly cruel when they feel holier than thou. Christy couldn't have said it better in this regard. Something is wrong when you feel this bad. You are RIGHT in your assessment that something careless was said.
Just because it was said means NOTHING though, about YOU. Trust your vision. You don't need to eat up everything spooned to you by others. I'm learning that one too :)
esh please?