The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact. --William James
Many of us learned as children that rejection and abandonment are part and parcel of being alive. We are so used to feeling as though things won't work out, that fear - like a shadow - is always lurking behind us. Usually there's something specific to be afraid of - that we won't have enough money to pay our bills, someone we love will die, or our children won't do well in school. And always there's the generalized fear that events will overwhelm us in spite of our best efforts.
We need to be careful about creating what we look for. Regardless of the frightening experiences of the past, we need to believe that other results are possible: All loved ones don't leave, all risks don't end in devastation, and all efforts aren't dashed on the rocks of defeat.
New consequences are possible when we believe they're possible. The brave new world that each of us seeks stands on the shoulders of that belief.
I am sick and tired of being fearful. Today, I am confident that positive efforts will yield positive results
Absolutely perfect timing for me to read this - almost want to frame it and read it every morning even.
Went to four almost sold out stores for final school supplys and because of the other last minute shoppers, time spent and number of stores required, I really had to struggle not to panic. Which is absolutely ridiculous and frustrates me to no end.
Such a small thing but yet I know that my more recent past required me to handle some tough kid stuff with little help or often added conflict from my AH....... so now I over react big time to stupid little things. It scares me as it seems I am just problem solving and it sets my body's reactions into anxiety & panic beyond my control. Perhaps if I try to create how I want to react, I will have positive ideations (have always loved that word for some reason) and therefore positive self fulfilling prophecies. I sure hope so!!
I need to believe other results are possible and I too "...am sick and tired of being fearful. Today, I am confident that positive efforts will yield positive results"
Thanks Tiger for posting this! hugs from ddub
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"Choices are the hinges of destiny." Pythagoras You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
great post! WE are RESPONSIBLE for our own HAPPINESS!!! I choose to be happy, and so I am happy. Bad things still happen, I still make mistakes, accidents are still happening, people get angry; I can choose to let that affect me or not.... and I (with HP help, at times) want NEVER AGAIN to be affected by "things I cannot change".
with love always, cj
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
I think unfortunately we will always be affected by things we cannot change in one way or another but our outlook and the ways we think about and deal with things make all the difference. I try to always believe that everything will work out for the best one way or another. Short of death, there isn't anything that can't get better.
I absolutely believe we are the creators of our surroundings, feelings and thoughts. Most of our fears, doubts and inhibitions are self created. We can know why they are created due to whatever circumstance, but it is a choice to carry them for a lifetime or decide to move on and away from our self created isms. It is easy to blame our early family life, our A spouses or whoever, but the result of all fears are self created and internalized by us. I know some may disagree but it is because they don't quite get the fact that the circumstances may have been created by someone else, but it is individual as to how they are internalized, held on to and carried. We really have no one to look at but ourselves.
An example of this would be exact abusive circumstances happening to two different people. Person #1 carries it for their whole life and allows it to affect every thought and relationship. Person #2 understands that all feelings and thoughts are self created and chooses to create determined healthy thoughts resulting in a completely different outcome of life. Person #2 has a commitment to themselves that they will live their best most joyful life.
We all know of famous people that have faced great adversity and lived a life of joy anyway. They chose to be who they are. We all have that same ability/choice.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Today, I am applying this to my re/sponsiveness I am working toward. I am nervous, it is the first day of my new quarter. My final quarter toward graduation. I want to scream out loud "You idiots! Can't you see how scared I am? How overwhelmed I am? That there will be so much work to do? And most of it won't have anything to do with school?" That it will involve getting...a job. ...an apt. ...the insurance. ...doing the adult mature thing. And it's sinking in that practicing re/sponsive behaviors means being re/sponsible. Breathing deep. Living in the now. Taking responsibility for my feelings I don't have to deal with all of this at this moment. A great first step to deal with this would be going to class and doing my best. To me, this reading says "the best way to control my destiny is to participate fully in it using my recovery tools." It's okay I'm scared. Sometimes, the future IS scary. But sometimes, things that are scary are generally unknown. New. Unfamiliar. And, in my case, have never been done before.
How about if you changed the "unknown and scary" thinking in to thoughts of a new "adventure"? It's all in the perception, what you choose to see. An adventure sounds like much more fun to me :) Is it normal to fear the unknown? Yes But who says you have to stay there and see it that way? We have the power to design our lives and to choose our own perception of reality. Mind boggling isn't it? Who do you dream of being? A strong, confident person forging forward in life no matter what? Be it!! Be your dream. Who says you can't?
Christy :)
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Christy, I always thought of myself as an adventuous person. Why didn't I ever put it into this context. What a wonderful way to put it.
Thank you Tiger, for bringing this up and Christy, for your insight.
Both of you have a wonderful day!
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
