The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I had a really strange day today. I got a call from the apartment we were supposed to move into and suddenly I don't qualify and I either have to pay more (which I won't do) or go somewhere else. So I scramble, calling around find a few good prospects and then...
I get a call earlier this evening from the realtor saying would you like to stay? The deal fell through on the house and the guy will do a lease and probably take it off the market for a while (it didn't appraise). So now...
Decisions decisions!!! My kids hate it here and want to move to the area where the other prospects are. That would mean more rent, more gas, $850 for a deposit (i'm not getting mine back here) and an hour each way to work for me. The alternative, stay here save money, the kids are miserable in horrible schools and a 20 minute drive to work each way. I'm torn! We are almost fully packed, having a second garage sale this weekend and I can't figure out the right thing. There are so many pros and cons on each side. I was prepared to move (kind of) I'm so confused!
Being the parent ultimatly you decide. If their grades are not lacking in school then I would keep it until you find something that you want. No sense in spending more money that you don't have to. That's just what I would do. You know what's best for you and your family :) With the price of gas I would be saving that money too. Something will pop up for you guys, it's only temporary. Good luck whatever happens sweets. mwah
I think I'd ask my HP Ready, willing and already packed ...okay God/HP help me know which way to go. I've always been amazed at how things come together --especially in a pinch.
Oh wow, what a curve ball. What to do, what to do? I understand your dilema. Ya know, when I originally started talking about selling our old house, my son gave me a really hard time. He didn't want to switch schools away from his friends. He didn't want to make any changes. After a while, he was ok w/selling but wanted to move into a certain area so he could keep his friends. Then he wanted to move into a different area so he could reunite w/old friends he had from an old school. Then it was back to the original thought. My point is, our kids flip flop on their wants just like we do as adults. I found that my son changed his mind on the subject w/every mood change in the household. I was going crazy trying to find a house in my price range that was in the location he wanted at the time. Finally, I said ENOUGH. I am looking in this area at this price range. Deal with it. And you know what? After a few days of pouting, he was ok. And now he loves where we live.
I suggest writing down all of the pros and cons to each situation so you can see it right before your eyes. Really examine it from all angles. Right down to gas money. Try to really figure out how much money will be spent in gas from each location. Does staying where you are save you a substantial amount of money, something you can use to pay bills and get out of debt or save up for another place down the road? Or is it just a few extra pennies in your pocket? How about the guy who owns the place you are in right now? Is this guy going to decide in a few months that he wants to raise the rent or give you the boot? There are so many questions to ask yourself. Right them down, think of the answers and right those down too. Don't worry about how your kids feel about it too much. I mean give their feelings consideration but remember you are the adult w/all of the grown up decision making tools. Kids are running on shear emotion when they make decisions.
Well speaking as someone who is still reeling from moving in haste and about to move again in haste, Id say well is it going to kill anyone to wait. One of my huge issues in common with the A is not being able to wait or procrastinating till things are a catstrophe. Does this decision have to be made "now".
I know also for me it is so so so essential not to "jump" into stuff that cost me lots of money. Right now I'm negotiating with a friend to help me move. Everything in me wants to run out and pay a mover. I need the money. I have a plan a, b,c for moving.
What's your plan a, b,c.
I also dont' think personally for me its as clear cut as a pro can con list. I can skew a pro and con list pretty quickly.
Options are good for me. What's the option of staying. What are my short term goals. Can I live with what I need to live with. I live in a very small space. I don't like where I live. I can be a real victim about it. I also don't like that I have to take on two dogs (more on that later). Do I need a catastrophe or can I plan around this.
Personally I think its ok that your kids don't like where they are. Not liking things is part of life. I have immense immense guilt about what being around the A has done to the dogs. I cannot change that. I can say that I can try to make their life better but showering them with anything anything at all. The best gift I can give to my dogs is to be non reactive, plan, make options and be clear. For me as a codependent I can over react, feel victimized, agonize, obsess and act on impulse. I kow where all those got me.
Ready, willing and already packed ...okay God/HP help me know which way to go. I've always been amazed at how things come together --especially in a pinch. 