The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Most of you who know me, will know I opened a f2f group in my area. It's been running about three months now. It has had on average between four and eight people every week. I am the only official member who Is allowed to hold a position in the group just now, so I have been doing everything on my own. Last week I got my first member, (who did not belong to another group), so she is now eligable to take on a position..woohoo.
A few others have asked to join the group as their second group, not their home group.
Last night I went to the meeting, I was chairing it. I felt good and was looking forward to it. Have had a few good days. WOW, I got eleven people there, from all over. Word is getting round about the Sat meeting..I was delighted. AND If that wasn't enough, I have a friend I met in mip, we talk on the internet in the chatroom and on the phone all the time. We met f2f in Feb. She came to the meeting last night to surprise me...lol Never told me she was coming.
I was as high as a kite, OMG what that meant to me was fantastic. We then went back to my house for a chat, she had another member with her, who shared at the meeting for us. It was awesome..lol
We speak to people in mip, in the chatroom or through the message board, But to get to see them f2f is brilliant.
So, my f2f is going good, and I'm happy to be giving service....My life is changing so much. I hear the phrase so often "Happy, Joyous and Free", well "Just for today" I "feel" free. I am changing me, finding out who I am, and Its a challenge for me. And I'm having fun going through all this.
A few weeks ago I was dependent on a man, Or so I thought. Today I still want to be with him and I still love him, BUT, I do not need him. We have been apart three weeks now. Mostly Im happy, I still get thoughts and sad feelings, and thats part of the grieving process.
Just wanted to share something that made me "Happy" with you all....lol
Love your Nutjob
Ally Girl
Who needs to win the lottery, when you got Al-Anon......lol
Ally...I loved reading your post this morning! " I feel free"...I am changing me...finding out who I am...and having fun going through the challenges"...BOY! Is that me! Only...I've been missing and still love my A husband after leaving him SEVEN MONTHS ago now. I hate that we are NOT going to make it after a 2nd attempt at marriage...and I still want him in my life as a friend he can call if he ever needs me. We have known one another for 14 years total...and so the grieving process for me has been extremely hard some days, and other days, I'm so grateful I got out of that situation! I'm back in church...I quit smoking...I'm getting baptized Sept. first... ...and my life is taking care of me and not worried SICK about if I'm going to die over night in a fire because my AH fell asleep in bed with a cigarette (in a mobile home at that), or if the F.B.I. is going to come arrest me with him, because HE was selling his "prescription pain pills" or being embarrassed in public with him under the influence...and you know it just goes on and on and on until somebody does something! I had a friend that I met in another message board (not for AA or Alanon)...introduce me to M.I.P. and day after day for over a year I got stronger and stronger and finally got the courage to leave my A, and no doubt the HP heard my prayers too! But yea...Turning 50 years old two weeks ago was ummmmm....very emotional for me becuz I don't want to be alone in life getting older, but at the same time, life is too short to be unhappy in an uhealthy/disfunctional marriage! I don't come into the M.I.P. message board to write any more...but I still come to read the posts, and remember back when I was a newbie and how far I've come. We're all different in how we will get through or not get through our problem with an "A" spouse with this disease. I can understand why some stay in their situations and why others choose to leave. I'm grateful that M.I.P. was here is all I can say because I'm sure I would not be where I am right now. Period! That was the choice I made for me. And as month after month goes by...and my husband and I talk on the phone...I still hear the beer tab being pulled off a can of beer in the background and he's trying "quietly" to do that ! It tells me he has not come to realize what he's doing to himself...and doesn't care that I left him. I found out from a cousin of his since I left him, that he was taken off his prescription pain pills because the doctor did a random "pee" test on him and found marijuana in his system! But he lied and told me he decided he didn't WANT to be on them any more, and he's going through or went through with- drawl symptoms. Either way...he still lies to me about things, so that hasn't changed! Anyway... I try not to have a "holier than thou" attitude about this whole thing...I hope it doesn't come a- cross that way here! Your post just gave me the inspiration to write and I remember when it was only 3 weeks for me! I counted the weeks that went by for about 3 or 4 months on my cal- ander...until I guess it just wasn't important to keep track of any more. I just know on the 3rd of every month it hits me that I'm that much further away from where I started. I wish you well in your journey to a healthier lifesytle than the one you are struggling to come out of! Hugs, Korinne
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Today, I am grateful to be on the path of dealing with my life and continuing to grow truly stronger.
