The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck and leaves duck feathers everywhere, maybe it's just a duck......or A. I think we've heard this adage before, yet still I tend to forget, especially if the duck isn't ddrinking, the duck feathers make less sense, but they are still duck feathers (isms).
I look at my life, three ex-husbands, two A, one a mentally unbalanced incest survivor of a deranged A manic, and now a fourth dry drunk A, trying to quit through his own will-power. Why do I keep doing the same things and expect different results?
One of the things I think is that each relationship (the 4 span 26 years) 'appears' different than the previous one at first. It doesn't 'look' like it's involved with the disease of Alcoholism, but at closer glance (which you don't really get till you marry the guy) it has been a repeat of past mistakes...but my program is one of Progress not Perfection. So, if I can just learn not to fall into the hole in the sidewalk of life, I'll be making progress!
The answer to the WHY?? question is in the chooser and choices. The answer was in myself. The first awareness and answer was that I was doing what I only knew how to do and therefore was getting what I would always get. Consciously I thought I saw things different and then found out that most of my choices and reactions were in my subconscious. I thought about it AFTER not BEFORE. Part of the answer is in who I am...character wise. I was sensitive and a caretakes and fixer and made that a habit. I didn't have to think about how, when or why; it was intuitive. It still is and the program has instilled some wisdom and rules so that I can become more conscious, less subconscious and therefore rarely unconscious. LOL.
It is progress not perfection isn't it? Keep your eyes on your feet. Tell them it's okay to stay out of holes. That way the rest of you doesn't follow.
