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So yeah, AH said we were going on Sunday - but guess what - NO. He left Saturday night and didn't come back. Said he wanted to watch the MEX v. USA soccer game on Sunday & knew if he stayed I'd expect him to go to the meeting. He was all please don't be mad - seemed pretty sincere abt the whole thing, didn't want me to feel like he chose the soccer over getting better. He said I really want to go I want to get better, but not today bc of the big game. K I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt this time cause I understand abt the game - I have a couple friends who probably made plans around this game as well. So he came home Sunday afternoon, smelled like he'd been drinking the night before - not surprising, just dissappointing. No matter how much I detatch (unless I officially break it off with him) I can never avoid the disappointment that comes along with the lying and drinking he does. He says we're going Tuesday @ 8pm - although I know he's going to be so tired (landscaping all day) so we'll see. I have been doing better abt not being so panicked and obsessive when he's gone out. It's so hard not to call him - I have to admit I've not been doing like I'd like to be on that one. Also, I had planned to go out to the movies on Sunday w/ my AAsister (she's in rehab but had a 6hr pass) and I thought abt cancelling bc the anxiety of AH was buggin, but I fought it and went anyway. We had a great time watchin Evan Almighty - so funny and not sacreligious at all like some ppl have thought - we also went shopping and I got a few new tops and a pair of shoes (only $10) that I can wear to my new job that I'm starting on July 9th. Thanks for the support everyone!!!
I'm going to say it, right or wrong: Whatta shock! He avoided an AA meeting! :D
Alcoholics who want to get well will crawl to an AA meeting uphill on broken glass. He just didn't want to go. A hangnail would have stopped him if he had no other reason.
All the same, I've been going to AA myself. When I lived in southern CA, I went to these huge open AA speaker meetings all by myself. They were INCREDIBLE. Being one of the two token Alanons at the meetings I go to close to home has been a lifesaver, I didn't expect to get as much out of them as I do. These are the meetings my A used to go to when he was trying hard to get sober.
And what a triumph for you to go to the movies anyway and give yourself a wonderful afternoon no matter what the A in your life is doing. It may not feel like it, but from one who's been there, it is significant progress to be able to do what you did. Congratulations!
=) Thanks Kim - I'm thinking I may go to the meeting on Tuesday - whether he goes or not. I know it's open but I'm not sure if it's open to me if I don't end up bringing AH?? Will call to find out.
So glad you were able to go to the movies with your sis despite your disappointment with your AH. There have been many times that that disappointment has kept me from doing the things I wanted to do. The disappointments and the broken promises can be very crippling I know for me it was for a while. I'd sit and cry and sulk over it. Boy I wasted time sulking over his problems. The excuses will come and go, my AH had some pretty interesting excuses for not making meetings. Now I know though that if he's living his life honestly and facing his disease and his recovery honestly, he'll know there are just no good excuses. Keep working on detaching with love and continue about your business of living and having fun. It will all fall in line soon enough. Your doing great!!
Peace, Twinmom~
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
