The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So, my ex, Mr. sober-working-a-great-program. Mr. sober-less-than-a-year-and-involved-with-a-new-relationship. Yeah,Mr. I'm-not-bipolar1-I'm-totally-sane. He broke into my mother's house (well, he knew where the key was) and stole 10 of her credit cards and has been using them to live. He maxed out one, but the rest he has been using to buy groceries, clothes, gas, God knows what else. I wonder if his gf is also in on it. He also stole her 2 carat dimond engagement ring. I swear if his gf is wearing it I don't know what I will do! I am so mad. I am so feeling justified in my actions with the kids. As much as I can't stand my mother I feel really bad for her. She supported us for years, she is the reason we kept our house for so long, she loved him like a son and accepted him back into our family every single time. What do I do? I want him to pay for this. He has gotten away with so many illegal things over the years. I want him to pay, and his gf she has to be in on it. I don't know. I had been praying to God to give me a sign on whether I should just give in and let him have the kids and I was in such a state of confusion as to how to go about it and then this. This answers my question of is he really ok, sober and sane? NO! He is sick and this is just the beginning. There is no way to be sober without being completly honest, at least with yourself and this proves he is still not being honest. And do I tell the kids? My mom is their best friend and 2nd mom. She is the one who consistently has stepped up everytime he stepped out. SHe has been there to take very good care of them and love them (better than she loved me in my opinion)If I tell them what he has done to her, then they will understand that he is really sick and out of control. That he would hurt my mom like this makes no sense. She has always supported him, always,no matter what it was. And she is in debt up to her eyeballs because of supporting us for so many years. It makes no sense and it makes me want to scream. I hate him. I thank God for letting me see this so that I may understand I am sad and depressed over the lost of everything but he is really crazy and there is nothing I can do about it. What do I do with this anger I can't just let it go, I have to help her pursue this and prosicute. I know her, she will get over it and chalk it up to his being sick and crazy. But that's no excuse to let him get away with it. I wish you could jail someone for being a total and complete ass. Why isn't there a law that if you hurt your family and friends, steal from them, lie to them, beat them, and abandon your kids time and time again you should be locked up because you are no longer a productive, adult memeber of society. Lock him up and throw away the key. He is doing nothing for this world except causing pain.
Your mothers police should be able to make your dream of jailing him come true. Has she contacted the police to report her missing ring and credit cards?
I am sorry this has happened to your mother. It is her choice to press charges or not. Nothing you can do about it. Maybe by not pressing charges is her way of moving on. Question: what good would it do to tell your kids what he has done? If it's only going to cause the kids more hurt, why hurt them more? Haven't they been through enough? They've been victims long enough. They know what goes on. Children see far more than we give them credit for.
I understand this anger you feel. But at some point, you have 2 choices: let it go and move on with things or let it eat you alive. I choose the former. He's your ex for a reason. Take all that anger and hurt and turn it into something more positive. He wins if you let the anger and his disease still control you.
Live strong, Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
What a painful experience for you and your Mom. I hope that your Mom goes thru the proper channels to press charges.
We went thru a similiar experience. Pressed charges and were able to get the money back. The person who stole the money (Forged checks) had to pay restitution.
Wishing you Serenity & Joy, Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
Sorry to hear this. They can be very selfish. I think some of them have no idea how anti social they are. I can understand your anger. I get to points of that with the A and have to detach.
How are you doing on detaching. I can get so angry I make myself sick with it.
I spoke to to the A's uncle last night he put a lot of perspective on it for me. That helped. I have to keep a lot of distance from the A but he is still in my life on some level.
I can understand your rage, outrage, jealosy and more. I would not necessarily say this new woman is in on it. A's lie.
I hope you will keep posting. Yesterday I let out a lot of anger at the A. He heard it. He rarely hears it.
I think sometimes there is a place for being direct with our anger. What he did is entirely unjustified.
I hope your mother has cancelled all those cards as tough as it is to do that she must do it.
Actually, there are laws for all those things. Beating people is still a crime no matter who it is last time I checked and people go to jail for abandoning their kids and not paying child support! Have you been to support enforcement? Stealing from family...also a crime!
