Is "felonious" a word?

Anyway, for those who missed my most recent post, my A has finally, thank HP, been "stopped" by the law, and is at the county jail on a $25,000 bond for felony narcotic posession in three counties and two states.

I obtained an ex parte yesterday, and go back to court for the TRO on June 29, the day after I turn 42 :D .  Happy Birthday to me, indeed!!!

I also found out the law firm I'm already working with is considered by the sheriff's office and even the judge who gave me the ex parte to be the best (read: most aggressive) bunch of lawyers in North Idaho.

Now back to me and me only, because that's where the real action is.

I went to the local Alano club and lay myself at their doorstep :D, and found out though there is no actual Alanon here (as I knew), I am welcome to come to the all the AA meetings which are three times a week, and in fact, they said if I DON'T show up, they'll come a drag me off my property!  Howz that for a welcome??

I get to go to meetings 3 miles away!!!  And they are 3 times a week, too!!!

I am feeling such an enormous weight lifted off of me.  Along with the weight lifting, the layers of denial are dissolving too.  It is very humbling, and frightening, to see how little I cared for my precious "self", how long I endured, how much I enabled, and the damage that will go on for quite a while until I can get it all squared away.

I get so passive, I go into my own little world (i.e. "stick head firmly in sand"), and I'm doing my best to deal with what I've allowed to happen.  HP and I are joined at the waist.

On a positive(r) note, the depression is lifting, and I am feeling the normal joy of my life.  As I was being mauled by a baby goat this morning, I buried my nose in her fur and realized I haven't just SNIFFED that wonderful, clean baby goat smell in so long . . . just an example of what is returning to me.

Thanks to the many members here, and locally, I have taken security precautions for the property and for myself.  My A is not one to take a hint.  But since he "lost" his truck in the last melee (read: tweakers/druggies have it somewhere out there) he is unlikely to hoof it the 27 miles up to me.  I am ready, though, if he does show up.  I'm sincerely "packing" and not even slightly averse to taking out a kneecap if it comes to that.  OF COURSE, I am to call 911 if he does come within 300 yards of the property, if he calls me on the phone, or "sends a messenger".

I sound (and feel) upbeat, but the true nature of this "safety" situation is no joke, and I know that.

In conclusion, I am still sane and healthy thanks to Alanon, and the support of all the fellow Alanons I have in my life.

Now Kim must pronto get to work on herself.