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Good Morning. This is my first posting (and going to be a long one at that, Sorry!), and to be honest I am scared. Ive wanted to post something for a while, but never had the courage until this morning, when I saw my best friend throwing his life away even more than before.I don't know what I am doing, but I know I have read many of the postings, and they hit home. I know y'all are here to listen and give support that we need, and I just want to say "Thank you" in advance for your support and your prayers.Sometimes all we have are prayers. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years. He is my best friend.He is an amazing, loving, caring father, friend, and man all around, I never have known so much love in my life, but I also have never felt so much pain..... He is stuck in a rut...... his drinking has come between us and our family.(Our families too.) The first year and a half we were amazing together, we had plans, we had so much love, we couldnt get enough of each other, and no, it wasnt that honey-moon phase of relationships, we were made for each other. Heck, our first date included looking for earthworms after a rainstorm and fishing all day with his son it was perfectJ.We were talking marriage within the first few months, and then moved in together shortly thereafter, to save money for our dream house and wedding, and we were ready to have more kids and the whole nine yards.It was perfect, we always had fun together, never really fought, and we were best friends. Of course we had some issues along the way, which we remedied.I had commuted over an hour for work each day so that I could come home to them every night, but that was getting stressful on our relationship, because all I did was sleep and work, never could go out and have fun So I quite my job, took a pay-cut, and found one 5 minutes from home. (By the way I love my new job and it makes what I am going through even harder.)So even after all that, we were great Until he got laid off this past winter. He is in construction, and for the first time in almost 5 years, he was laid off for over 2 months.During those 2 months, all I heard was this is my vacation.He started drinking more regularly, but since it was his vacation like one I would take to Cancun or something, it was OK for him to drink every night.Unfortunately, he didnt realize vacations are not 2 months long.I tried to keep up with his lifestyle, but I was working, and I couldnt.Then one day, it stopped. We stopped. We stopped doing stuff together, it was just him. He would go out with the guys, and drive home drunk.He started telling me hed be home in an hour, then 2 hours would go by, I wouldnt hear from him, then a few more hours when before he would just call and tease me hey baby just checkin in making fun of a commercial we saw but he just stopped. Well, I figured that this binge he was on would have stopped when he got back to work but it didnt.He started work, and got depressed. His new boss did work unethically and it was hard on him. (He is a VERY ethical person). He gained about 20 pounds over the winter, and that was hard on him. He realized when he was laid off that he was dependent on me, and that got him down too.He just stopped caring about everything!! He loves to hunt and fish and be with family, but that stopped. Hed rather go out drinking. I lost him. He lost himself. Now here is the kicker, he doesnt drink when his son is at home.He has him every other week (50/50 custody).So those weeks that we had his son, we were the perfect family. But those weeks that we dont he didnt need me either, he always was making excuses for me to leave, he woke up one morning and didnt want any more kids (and I do) so I should leave, he said I should leave because I am Catholic and he is not... he was full of reasons of why I should leave, and finally, he told me that I needed to move out, and I realized that I had to as well.He has called me a few times since we split, and I have seen him twice since then.This morning was the last time I saw him. We were supposed to get together last night, but he decided to get drunk instead. So I went over there at 5 this morning before work, and got the rest of my stuff. I confronted him about his drinking (again) and he admits that he has a problem.It is to the point where he is harming himself and taking risks he should be taking he was drinking and driving in the work truck last night. He is at his low. I know that he can control his drinking when he is 100% sober, but as soon as he has one it turns into moreWhen he was going through his divorce (being married less than a year) she tried to prove that he was an A so that she would gain full custody but he stopped drinking for over a year and half so that he would lose his son.He has told me before, that if it wasnt for his son, hed probably be dead (from the drinking.)Here is the other kicker, his mom is a recovering A, so is his Step-dad and brother, and they have beaten the disease.His father died from alcoholism, and his sister and brother-in-law are still As. He has dealt with this his whole life, he has never been loved by anyone besides his son (and me) and that scares him. Anyways, I guess I just wanted to get that all off my chest.It is so hard to see the man I love with everything I have throwing his life away. I have come to terms that there is nothing I can do until he is ready, but when is he going to be ready? Is there hope? For the last 2 years my life was with him and his son, now I have no one. I am in a town with none of my family around. I moved here for our family we had, but now that I dont have that I have nothing besides work. I have plans to move back to where my folks are, and leave this all behind me, but I am so scared. I love him; I want him and his son in my life, so I ask for your prayers to help him through this. I know I will be fine in time, but for now please help him find the way.There is a prayer to St. Anthony that is Tony, Tony, turn around, somethings lost and must be found so I keep praying that he finds himself again and realizes drinking isnt everything, family is. Thanks for everything and listening to my story.
