The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I had a rotten day at work yesterday. I'd really appreciate some E/S/H on this. I've talked with my sponsor and I feel alot better, but given how this weekend I'll be working Fri/Sat/Su, I'd like to gain some prospective from the experience. I got called into the managers office yesterday. He had gotten two complaints. One of them was from a customer who was upset that I made him show me the shoes he was purchasing. He was purchasing new shoes and was wearing the new shoes out, and he said he felt insulted that I insisted that I needed to inspect that the shoes he was purchasing was indeed the shoes he was wearing. The other one was from a lady who felt that the bag I had given her for a piece of jewlery was too large. "I can see the logic in you asking to see the shoes;" my manager said, "But what's the logic of the bag with the jewlery?" I 'fessed up: "I couldn't keep up with the line and get out the smaller bag; I just couldn't get the smaller bag open and the line was growing." "I don't believe that," he said, "You've gotta come up with a better excuse than that, that's crap." That hurt. Later that day, a lady added to the frustration: she complained because I didn't smile to her. As I talked with my sponsor, one thing became clear: The button being pushed was a very old button from growing up, the "damned if you do, damned if you don't button." If I do what you want, you'll raise the stakes, and the love you promised me won't come, because you changed the rules. If I don't do what you want, you'll penalize me for not meeting your expectations, no matter what the cause was. If I do the best I can, it doesn't matter, because that doesn't fit into your expectations either way. In this case at work it was "Enforce the policies, but if it upsets the customer, don't do it; be energetic and passionate, but if it frightens the customers, be sedate. It's okay to have a bad day, but if it upsets the customer..." I mean, it just reminds me of growing up: "You can be mad, but not at us, even if we're the ones making you mad; you can hate school, but you can't hate school, because we're gonna send you there any way; you can be upset, but you can't be upset, because our family is good and loving hand happy; .... I'm sure all of us have had jobs like this, or at least been in situations like this. I look forward to hearing from you.
Yeah, I had a day like that last Thursday at work. Was talking to my boss about some things and the fact that I am going to be on vacation starting next week for 2 weeks and he said something and I started feeling totally incompetant.
What you wrote about how what happened to you at work made you feel like the way you felt growing up hits right on the mark for me for the way I was feeling last Thursday.
I was telling myself even as I was feeling "less than perfect" that I needed to get out of the thinking...but for some reason I chose to linger there anyway. As I was driving home from lunch I got a call from an Al-anon friend who asked how my day was going. Welp, I layed it all out and she helped me to work it out of my system and even got me to laughing about things. I went back to work after lunch feeling so much better put the focus back on doing the next right thing...and moved on.
Sounds like you did the right things to... talked about it with your sponsor, did a little inventory of why your feeling the way you are feeling, and sharing with us alanuts.
Someone once told me when someone gives me criticism that hurts... file it away in a special place in my mind for a bit... give it time for the initial response of hurt, anger..whatever, to cool of a bit, then pull it back out and look at it objectively. If there is any validity to the criticism, take the part that I can maybe do something about to improve myself detach it from the "packaging" it was delivered in and try to do better in that area. If there is no validity to the criticism, just return that package to the sender (ie don't retain possession of their junk) and delete it from my mind.
I hope that you are having a better day today. You should be so proud of yourself. It is quite evident that you are working a great program. Keeping the focus on you and not playing the blame game, even when it would be so easy to do so. The thing that came to mind as I was reading your post was "Principles above Personalities" and what part of this is mine and what part is someone elses. Maybe looking at some CAL would be helpful.
Sounds like a lot of complaining people to me. Its easy to get stressed when there are a million people to please. I used to work in customer service and I know that some people can just be awkward. But I know I could be 'not in the mood for it' too, some days.
I had a spell of complaints and awkwardness, and me being hauled in having to justify my actions. I am stubborn to a fault and would find it very hard to admit my moodiness. However, I can now admit I was not always right. Sometimes customers just got on my nerves. I might be having a bad day and was snappy. Sometimes the boss too just gets a bit fed up with it all. (I did when I was the boss!)
I tried to take a day off at times like this and just spend some time relaxing (not analyzing!). We all need to have a break at times. Just make sure you get yours.
I am not trying to trivialize in any way what happened, but I wouldn't overanalyze it either. We all have bad days here and there.....especially when working in customer service!
I'm just trying to figure out what kind of person is so anal that they would take the time to complain about a "too big" bag. Good Heavens!!!! The thing is used to get from point A to point B. Sheesh! LOL! Maybe the words "big bag" touched to close to home.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Jesh, don't worry about it. I like your supervisor's response to your explanation about the bag thing. Fess up, we all know you had an ulterior motive for handing out a "too big" bag. Let us in on your big secret. How dumb. And I'm with Christy... does this lady just not have any problems? Who complains about that?
Sorry you had a hard time of it, hon. All I can say is that, "what other people think of me is none of my business." that includes, boss, friends, family, coworkers, and bitchy/stupid people.
much love, always cj
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
Welp, I layed it all out and she helped me to work it out of my system and even got me to laughing about things. I went back to work after lunch feeling so much better put the focus back on doing the next right thing...and moved on.