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Hi everyone. It's been a while since I posted. To be honest, I have really been kinda of embarrassed that I have let myself get in this situation again. I left my active alcoholic husband back in February. I had moved in with my sister, but did not realize that my sister was having her own problems with drugs. To make a long story short, she moved in her dealer on top of us and I moved out. At the time, my husband was trying to get back in my good graces and I ended up moving back in with him. The pattern is that things will be good between my husband and I for a couple of months and then everything goes sour again. Right now my husband is not speaking to me. He has not spoke to me in three days. I know that this is a control tatic. I am really trying not to let it get to me, but it just infuriates me! I have not let on to him that it bothers me but inside I am fuming. What he doesn't realize is that this makes me want to leave even more. I know that he doesn't want me to leave but he will push the envelope as far as he can. Has anyone else experienced this?
yes yes yes. He would't stop till he pushed me to the limit on everything. I used to think I was being constantly tested, and I knew I could never pass the test. (was never good enough, felt inadequate, self critical) My own low self esteem would prevent that.
I blamed this constant 'testing' on the sickness. This need to appear dominant was just a cover for his own insecurities......just my thoughts....from what I lived through...
Your right this is a control tactic that he is utilizing to try and get you to be what he wants. You may want to find ways to enjoy the silence. Remember that there are many times when he's drunk that silence disappears. It is an uneasy silence, I do agree, but it might be just the excuse you need to do your own thing, like go running or whatever.
HI JulieLynn- welcome back. It sounds like you have had a challenging time and are surrounded by a lot of interesting characters! What are you doing to make yourself happy? Are you acting or just reacting to the actions of your A? hoping you can find some serenity in this frustrating time- Jeanne
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In the long run the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip.- Daniel L. Reardon
My AH does the same thing....stops talking. I start to feel invisible! Hate feeling that way! I have to get out and talk to people to feel sane again. I have the tendancy to isolate myself unless he gets like that, then I have to get out! Yes, it is a control tactic. Very demeaning control tactic. Makes me feel worthless, and he doesn't even have to say or do anything! No matter how long you are away from here, for whatever reason...you know you are always welcome! Good to hear from you. Love in Recovery. Becky1
