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Anyone else ever have abandonment dreams? My ahsober relapsed this time the last time and I know this and for some reason I have been having dreams of him drinking again. I don't know if these are "pregnant" dreams or if I am genuinly scared he's going to relapse again. So I guess I wanted to know if anyone else has scary dreams like this about your ah or SO.
It is hard to say what our dreams mean FOY. I guess there are people who specialize in figuring them out...Certainly you could be afraid of abandonment by your AH drinking again.
I have a recurring dream that I am being pursued by someone. It is always someone different, and I am running, running, and trying to scream, but no sound will come out. I often wonder if this dream has anything to do with being "helpless" against his alcoholism. When I awaken my heart is pounding and I am out of breath from the terror.
Weird, these dreams,
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
I have had countless dreams of my AH relapsing (IV), many of which have been quite disturbing. There is always this feeling like I have had enough and I am going to leave for good- no more! Sometimes I'm so mad when I wake up it takes a bit to calm down. I know I was always aware that it could happen, but I didn't think it actually would. I called it my inability to seperate imaginary fears from reality. Of course, now he is drinking and I never thought that would happen, so I guess anythings possible. I think these dreams help to confront actual (hidden) feelings). Jamie
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I'm like a pinch of tea...put me in hot water and see how strong I can be.
It's strange huh? Because in a sense you never really get rid of the disease. It's like it's always going to be burried supconsciously. I haven't talked to ahsober yet. I wonder if he has dreams of himself drinking. That would be hard to fight.
When I quit smoking I would have dreams where I be smoking smoking. I remember thinking "Hey, I guess I'm smoking now" and feeling disappointed, but relieved when I woke up.
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I'm like a pinch of tea...put me in hot water and see how strong I can be.
I've had those too and they seem so real! You can feel the smoke going in your lungs and everything. Or how about the one's where you hurt your leg and when you wake up your leg actually hurts? Dreams are fascinating.
I recently had a dream about my AH relapsing this past week. It felt so real. He didn't think it was a big deal because it was wine coolers, but in the dream the scenario was the same as the other times. He was trying to conceal that what he had to drink in the glass was non-alcoholic, but I went into his bag and found the wine coolers. Now, the old me would have snooped in his bag. Now I think I would just politely say either you can throw the drink out or leave the house if you want to drink. I shared the dream with him and all he said was there's no way I want to compromise my sobriety anymore for that crap. For me, I believe it was some fear and anxiety that is still in my subconscious. Dreams are part of us... part of our thoughts, fears, hopes, etc that we tuck away in the back of our minds somewhere. The native american people believe dreams are the insight into the unseen world. The unknown is happening all around us but of course we can't see it when we're awake. The native americans believe that dreams give a person a great deal of information into the mind and what still needs to be learned or let go of.
So, maybe for me the dream is saying to be careful and its not yet time to let my guard down, or its saying its time to let those fears and anxieties go. I guess I will know as time reveals it. Still, those dreams can shake us up a bit. Hang in there, everything you need to know will reveal itself soon enough.
Peace, Twinmom~
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
I agree twinmom2, I do kinda believe it's telling me not to let my gaurd down. He's here now this weekend and he's fixed alot of the things around the house and I'm watching him to see if he's shaking or have any signs of drinking. Of course he's not but it just goes to remind me that I'm still sick I guess :( Being a mother of three I have to be cautious to make sure that I don't get the wool pulled over my eyes. Sometimes I wonder if dreams are another world like the native american's. I have the same town, the same people it's wierd. Maybe they are a way of cleansing our souls. It makes me scared to go to sleep tonight...hahaha I wonder what it will be now.
I wonder if he has dreams of himself drinking. That would be hard to fight.
It's my understanding that this is actually pretty common. I was very alarmed when my H told me he had been shaken by dreams of drinking, but heard an AA gentleman speaking about drinking dreams to an AA group and learned this is something many in recovery experience. When H asked his group about it, they told him it was pretty common too.
As to dreaming about the AH... I once had a dream that he tied me down and put tons and tons of bugs on me, leaving them to crawl all over me. I HATE bugs. That was early in his drinking, so I guess it could be interpreted as me feeling that my trust had been violated or that he was intentionally doing something hurtful. God knows I felt that way at times, so who knows?
As for my own dreams, I once dreamt that my breasts were covered in red fur (what the hell does that mean?) and once woke up terrified and checked my entire body after dreaming that my skin was cracking open everywhere and I was covered in these little rivers of blood.
I lord Shelbell. Red fur? Maybe you were watching Victoria's secret show or something? hahaha You know the dreams I hate are the one's where my teeth fall out. I am so happy when I wake up and all of mine are there. That freaks me out. I don't know what alot of these mean or why we would even dream them. You can't really figure out one's like ours and the teeth and the red fur. Maybe we are just mental. hahaha *laughing out loud*
I have had dreams about the A cheating, drinking, just plain acting like an ahole. I wake up mad and it seems so real. Haven't had many strange ones lately tho. When I diet I dream about eating sweets and wake up disappointed in myself wondering if I really did that or not.
I have had many dreams about the A relapsing. I have woken up crying, screaming, throwing up. All of the reactions I had when awake. They all occured when he was sober. I think it was just the fear comming thru. I would tell him about my dreams and the feelings I had with them and if he was in a good spot he would hold me and reassure me and be wonderful. If he wasn't in a good spot he would just get mad or whatever. I always took them as a sign I still had feelings to deal with, I still needed to detatch from his disease. I sometimes felt they were showing me the future, what was to come. Sometimes they seemed to answer questions I had. But in general they just sucked because they upset me.
I have also had the smoking dreams. I quit smoking 13 years ago and I still have the dream occasionally and always wake up so disappointed with myself and with a feeling of dread at having to have to quit AGAIN! Then there is the sense of relief when I realize it was only a dream........
"... and I'm watching him to see if he's shaking or have any signs of drinking. Of course he's not but it just goes to remind me that I'm still sick I guess."
Just a quick comment about your quote above FOY. Considering what some people go through on their journey with an alcoholic, I do not think it indicates we are still sick if we sometimes wonder if he/she is drinking. I think it is perfectly normal human behavior. The premise that it doesn't matter doesn't get through to me. I am trying...I am trying...
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
I Guess it feels like a sickness because before he came into my life I never had to be cautious about anyone like this. This is my first alcoholic (Bedides my best girlfriend that died) so I am still learnig what's normal and what's not.
Serendipity, I have those too. hahahaha You wake up and go "thank God, I don't have to withdrawl again". After hard dreams like that I just want to get up and live my happy normal life. lol Dreams sometimes seem worse to be in.
My ahsober relapsed this time the last time and I know this and for some reason I have been having dreams of him drinking again. I don't know if these are "pregnant" dreams or if I am genuinly scared he's going to relapse again. So I guess I wanted to know if anyone else has scary dreams like this about your ah or SO.
