The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This was a bit of a digression in the other post, so I thought it might be useful and interesting to discuss it here.
I brought up the point that this is an alanon board, and that we should keep the focus on the program. One response to this was:
"So what if someone says something which directly contradicts AlAnon??? There are certainly enough people here who will land on you like fleas on a dog, and make sure the "offense" is corrected."
My personal feeling is that those who come here, especially newcomers, have the right to expect that what they hear will be the alanon program, filtered, of course, through the different experiences and personalities of different people.
We all are diverse people, and have much more to us than just our experiences with alcoholics. i know that I have opinions on all KINDS of things, that I am glad to share with everyone I know. However, I try to keep them off of this board. There are some ways in which I disagree with the program. I do my best to stay out of discussions about those subjects, since I can't in good faith "toe the party line".
Most of us who have some experience with the program know that, for the most part, it is not appropriate for us to push out opinons on others here. We know that though we may be devout Christians, or ardent Socialists, or radical feminists, this is not the place to discuss it. I noticed, in a recent thread about finding a higher power, not one person said "I know who the Higher Power really is, and you should believe the way I do." This is something that is stressed, and enforced, and pretty well all of us understand and agree with the policy.
The problem comes, I think, with other beliefs that are not so well defined in our minds *as* beliefs. "I believe that battered wives should leave their husbands" is as much a personal, outside, belief, as "I believe that George Bush is a wonderful president". Both are inappropriate here. The appropriate comment, on an alanon board, is "I was battered, and here is what I did...."
I've been in this program for four years. I have read all of the books, and a good many of the pamphlets. I've read and posted thousands of hours of type here, spend many many hours in face to face. I feel that MY program is safe. Nothing anyone here can say can do any more than strengthen it. I can learn from dissenting views, because I know enough to understand my OWN views. I am not perfect in the program, but I feel that I have enough understanding of it that non alanon advice would not shake me.
That would not have been true if I had come here 8 years ago, though. Many many of our new members are looking to find out what this program is about. They are not interested in my opinons - they want to know what alanon says. When I am here, I feel that I am a representative of the alanon program.
If I want to have a platform for my other, non program beliefs, I can always start the lin0606 website....
I am moved to reply to your post as I am a relative newcomer to alanon. I've read some of the literature, been to a few meetings and have read this board for a couple of years. I find it can be confusing when there is a lot of dissention in the replies. I feel that when a person posts counter to alanon teaching I don't always know who to believe and may become discouraged. I would like to thank you and others here so much who post and reply in keeping with alanon principles. Your thoughtful and insightful words have helped me tremendously. Kindest regards.
I think this is an interesting post. I think the bottom line is that with a "one size fits all" program like this, the program itself will contradict it's teachings from time to time before the message has even been interpreted by the 3000 members of this website. We are here for a common purpose, yes, but for some of us the similarities end there. Naturally we will all understand this program in slightly, sometimes vastly, different ways. Just my take on it.
