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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> wishing I had answers for him.....
Post Info TOPIC: wishing I had answers for him.....
Gailey


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wishing I had answers for him.....
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but...I don't. It is all out of my control.

I was just talking to A son on the phone. He expressed that "if  this is what life is all about I hope I don't live too many more years". Working in a career that he does not want to be in anymore (chef) but knows nothing else. Paying more child support than he can afford. He said he wakes up every morning and the anxiety hits him. Pain in his stomach. He is feeling overwhelmed. I told him that he is the only one that can change things...one day at a time...one problem at a time.

I try to give hime some help in the area of paying his child support...like paying it every two weeks when he gets paid instead of trying to pay it all out of one pay.

I guess he justs has to live like this until he decides to take some steps to turn things around. If he would have gone to the divorce hearing with his expenses he probably would not be paying as much as he is. I think after speaking to me he feels worse. I need to stay out of his business more but it is so hard to not know what is going on with him when I am worried about his mental health as well as his aism.

I'm giving it to HP right now. I have way too much going on with me that I need to be concerned with.

Thanks for listening
Gail

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Gail
rtexas


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((((((Gail)))))))

You hit the nail on the head when you said that until he decides to change it, it will continue to be just as it is. Boy does that sound familure. I tell myself that every day.

It is so hard for me not to become overwhelmed with other peoples misery. Just like you I want to reach out and fix it. But I can't... I know it... I say it, and when I surrender to it, I will add a whole new dimension to my life.

I am concearned about my wife, and the choices she is making. Concearn comes from my love for her... I don't want that to go away. Its the worry, that causes me undo pain and is a choice.

I hope you have a good day, and know you are in my prayers. (always are... smile.gif)

Take care of you!

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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
Rita G


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Gail,

Although you may not see it - I see so much growth & healthiness in your post.

"I'm giving it to HP right now. I have way too much going on with me that I need to be concerned with."

In this statement I hear you Letting Go & Letting God; Live & Let Live, Let iIt Begin with Me and First Things First.

It is so hard to watch our loved ones walk their own path, especially when that path is a road filled with the same old unhealthy choices. I had a conversation with one of my friends in my f2f group last night. I told her my head knows exactly the "healthy, recovery" thing to do, but that doesn't stop my heart from hurting and wanting to put on the Red Cape and Fly into rescue my daughters (and grandchildren) from the painful situations.

My thoughts & prayers are with you, Gail. Keep taking care of you - you are right - you do need to be concerned with you.

Peace, my friend, wishing you peace always,
Rita


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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK - teamwork.gif
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