The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was doing so good then CRASH-BAM-BOOM !! Now, I am so sad !! I wanted so desperately for things to work out but it just isnt going to .. He is living about 10 minutes from our home and I just cant stop thinking about who he is with and what he is doing.. None of which I can control and I know that. Unfortunately it doesnt help my mind just going CRAZY !! Today is my sons graduation and my husband will be there !! I am so excited for him. This is such a HUGE day for him yet all I can think about is OMG, I will see him today and we actually wont be sitting together .. That isnt right, that shouldnt even be the point . I am so selfish who cares it is about my son ..
Please pray for me today !! I need STRENGTH today and everyday but especially today..
I have been dealing with a lot of loss in my life recently. My therapist said to me the other day that some of these losses may always be with me in some way. For example, when I graduate from my graduate program, or reach other significant milestones in my life, or celebrating something special, I may feel that loss and tug at my heart of the significant people who I want to be there. For some reason, for me, knowing that it was NATURAL to feel this kind of loss, that I didn't have to JUST GET OVER IT to prove that I was recovered, has really made it easier to let the grief come up, wash over me, and to let it pass, too. And, realizing that this grief may be with me for a long time, also puts it in perspective and helps me enjoy my life even while I am grieving.
I hope you have a wonderful graduation! And, I hope you are gentle with yourself and whatever feelings come up :--).
Congratulations to your son! Well, it difficult to turn your brain off and focus on yourself and your life. Two years ago my AHsober said he was "out of here". 5 days before he moved was our son's graduation from high school. It was so hard to focus on my son knowing that my A was leaving this marriage. And he acted the part, ignored me, no hugs, aloof. It was hard to celebrate our son's success separately. Last week we celebrated our other's son's graduation from college. Instead of "hoping" we would be doing this together, I made plans to celebrate as his mother. I made motel reservations, planned a party with my son, and then told my A that I would see him down there. I made a scrapbook for my son, gave him a card, and bought decorations. Then my A said that he wanted to join me. It felt so different because I keep the focus on my son and what I wanted for myself. As others have said we have to grieve what we have lost. For all that we lose there is wisdom to be gained.
Its called "obsession" I am comming through the same thing..Relationship ended, where is he away to, who is he with, is it a woman, if so is she prety, what does she have i dont have....lol
OMG, we drive ourself insane, over and over again....I know I have, I have cried non stop, And I live next door to this person.
But I know I have no control over him, or his life, I am "powerless", all i can control is myself....
Hartbreak is the worst feeling inthe world, I also wanted to end it. That was 2 months ago.."Today", he cant handle a relationship, His Problem, He needs his space for his programme, I need mine..
No-one can predict a future of long life, love and happiness, we just need to work on it day to day...
my thoughts with you and prayers that you are able to find some peace in the serenity prayer as you are facing any., these difficult times.
Along with working the steps ofthis wonderful program....the slogans can comein veryyyy handy. they are soooo remarkably wonderful when i am facing something that brings about tension and stress. I also., carry my daily reader in my purse with me. I suppose its sort of my ROCK. And... i recite the slogans and the prayer in my head.. and let them fill me up. THINK POSITIVE. I hummm alot,lol. Times when feeling my thoughts are going in the wrong direction. I will hummmm. Or let the serenity prayer take over my thoughts. I have found times are easier and go by without incident when I let myself step back and let HP/God take over. Its so much more beneficial for me and those around me whenI am not projecting what the future or evenlater this afternoon may bring for me to face or to resolve. Hp has it. Always has. Always will. I choose to stay in the moment. I slip, but I am getting better at recognizing this... and reminding myself of and reciting the serenity prayer once again. Let IT fill me up. ITs my ROCK too. lol.
This too shall pass and I pray that you are able to focus on yourself and what makes you happy, like this wonderful event with your son.
WoRkIT Your WOrTH IT work it work it
Keep coming back! Keep Looking uP Read and read and practice and practice. It does get better.
whenI am not projecting what the future or evenlater this afternoon may bring for me to face or to resolve. Hp has it. Always has. Always will. I choose to stay in the moment. I slip, but I am getting better at recognizing this... and reminding myself of and reciting the serenity prayer once again. Let IT fill me up. ITs my ROCK too. lol. 
work it