The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My ex texts me today "I need to see you" I do not respond. I call my lawyer and he says there is no reason for me to have to speak to him. Ok, good. I go on with my day....moving into the new house. He texts me again before I go to work"Please I need to see you" Again I do not respond, even though at this point I am very nervous and curoius. I go to work, I don"t think twice about him. I left a little early to get to a meeting and when Ileft work he had left his number with a heart. I just tossed it on the ground and went to my meeting. It was a good meeting,newcommers. I come home, get ready for bed and who should come knocking on my door? yup the ex. He has to sign the papers tomarrow and apparently is having a hard time with his decision. But let us all recall.....in the end it was his decision. I did really well guys. I stood in the doorway, I didn't scream or shout or call the cops. He came back and knocked like 3 more times and i opened the door. But he had nothing to say. I am confused at this point. I mean he is in love with some chic named jennifer who has 14yrs sobriety. But my ex is a liar. so who knows what is true and what isn't. I saw it start with the 1st text, the game, the manipulation. He wants me to save him, fix his mistakes.
I won't. i have no desire to either! let's hear a round of applause for growth!!! i didn't do it perfectly....that would have been to not answer the door at all. a little drama is better than 3 full acts of drama...don't you think?
It wasn't the past 13 years of affairs, drug abuse,physical abuse, sex addiction, etc...it was the way he treated me the past 3 months. That I can't get over. The cruel way he did things, the lies when at this point there was no reason for him to behave that way at all.But ya know what? I am ok. I didn't do or say anything stupid. Even though I wanted to. He's just lucky I had already taken my ambien!!! otherwise I just might have taken out every once of stress on his ass. LOL!
oh you guys....I wouldn't have been able to hang tough if it weren't for you. knowing that you also have gone thru screwey things....I love you all and I felt you all with me standing behind me holding my hand,,,,,thank you.....i am blessed
Bravo!!! You delt with that with grace.... That is huge. Nothing in life comes on the "silver platter", and learning to deal with how things do come takes time and hard work. You are doing that and it shows.
Congratulations!
I need constant reminders that my serenity is worth the effort... Thanks for reminding me that it doesn't really matter what others do around us, it's how we choose to handle it that saves our serenity!
I need that, and I know others do to!
Keep taking care of you! You deserve it!
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
It feels good when we can pat ourselves on our own back You deserve to celebrate keeping your serenity/program thru that. It just doesn't happen by itself, it takes work -- working this program...You Go Girl!
Remember it's not so important what he wants -- but what you want and what direction you want your life to go in. It's all about you and how you want to get where you'd like to go. If he wants to join you, well he's got his own program to work. It just doesn't happen by itself just like you, he's got to work it. You just keep focusing on your journey.
This isn't to sound condesending, but I'm so proud of you I celebrate with you.
Its those times of manipulation that have caused me to go back on my words. Good for you for realizing the patterns and not playing the game. My AH wants me to still play the game too. I just can't anymore. Once I realized how crazy and insane this game is I just don't want to play anymore. I enjoy my peaceful home and it will either stay that way with or without him. Keep fighting for that peace and serenity, as you clearly stated, you didn't deserve the treatment you got from him. If he's feeling bad or guilty, well he should. He has sit with his own mistakes and feel the pain and consequences for them. Have a wonderful day.
Peace to you, Twinmom~
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
WOW!!!!!!! I got goose bumps when I read your post!! I am so proud of you. Knowing me though just for sh**s and giggles I would say "ok let's talk.......meet me WITH your girlfriend and I'll hear what you have to say" But I'm mean like that. hehe. I know some men (yes, I said some!) are very territorial like woman and when they know they have no control they panick. My AHsober is one of them. It's nice to finally have the power huh???? Yeaaaaaaaaa Serendipity!!
You are awesome!!! You have come so far even in the last two weeks. You should be really proud of yourself. Oh, and let me be eloquent when I say -- screw him!!!
I remember when I used to like the desperate attention, now it just looks pitiful like a sad little broken man who can't control himself or his own life! I was there...I was the one telling you kick him in the balls before he walks away..LOL
You deserve to celebrate keeping your serenity/program thru that. It just doesn't happen by itself, it takes work -- working this program...You Go Girl! 