The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Things have really changed for me in the last few days. I would never have imagined in my wildest dreams, life could be this good.
Why???Who knows...
A few days ago, I had a whole lot of anger within me because of a situation in my life. I "Let" people affect me, my judgement, my thougts and my attitude. That caused me to really look inside myself. What did I see?
Well I saw a whole load of things, good and not so good. It has taught me what kind of person I am. What and who I NEED in my life. So as the days went on it became more clearer to me.
I have had a clearout inside my head. It's funny we do things, help people and wonder how that could possible be wrong for us...But It can.
I know myself, I am a very caring, loving, patient, understanding, person. Thats my nature, always has been. But recently I came through something that changed my personality, to a more, agressive, paranoid, selfish person. That was a few defects in my character, that I did not like.. So after some thought, I removed myself from that situation. That was a lesson for me, for my growth.
I feel wonderful since I done that. As a people pleaser I forgot one thing in my life....ME.. Who pleases me, what pleases me...lol I could not answer that. But today I can.
This is my inventory for a happy, joyous and free life.
1. I am what I am, God made me, he gave me the ability to do what I do. What gives anyone the right to question that.
2. Do what I choose. Do not let others talk me into doing something for their benefit.
3. Should I slip, In time I will find the way back. A slip is a good reminder.
4. Let it begin with me. No rule states I need to put people first.
5.. Don't waste time trying to be perfect, Let me make my own mistakes, and learn from them.
6.. If I want to change my mind on somethings..Let me, It's my porogative.
7..Love myself unconditionally, If I don't no-one else can.
8.. Feel the feelings, then let them go, Do not spend time on what If's.
9..Do not abuse others as I have been abused.
10.."Take Life One Day At A Time", I have NO power over people, places or things, no control over events.. Live for that day, and not worry about tomorrow.
Thats my programme shining within me..Someone told me recently,,I was an inspiration. I had serenity looking out of me. I also had the holy spirit looking out of me, (i didnt understand that one)
Whatever has changed in me..It's wonderful..It's been a long, long time comming for me.. Once, I believed, all I was good for was being abused verbally, let down by everyone. I wanted to be gone from this world, under peoples feet....
Not anymore....
This is my life..This is my destiny...I can share that, teach people what I am learning, and guide them on their right path......But "Just For Today"....
Ally Girl is "Happy", "Joyous" And "Free"........And It feels fantastic....lol
Love you all.. Appreciate your Experience, Strength & Hope....
So glad to read you are doing well!! This was a great share. It shows how we can feel so down, and miserable, and that whole time we are really learning.
((((Ally)))) You ARE an inspiration to me! And guess what?!?!?! I'M GONNA BE A GRAMMA AGAIN! My 31 year old daughter who has been married 3 years and has 2 young-teen stepsons is going to give me a grandbaby! OMG! It was not planned, they are still in shock, but this Gramma's going shoppin'! So glad you were able to return to work......and going back to school! Whoo-hoo ally! How far, far, far you have come. No stopping you now! Love in Recovery, Becky1
