The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My ah came home from work yesterday very angry, our 16 year old son had spent a few hours working with him, they had got into an arguement and my husband was angry to the point of wanting to throw our son through the door, as my husband was telling me his voice was becoming louder and he was shaking with rage, I said gently, calm down, it's ok your home now, usually at this point I would say the wrong thing and the anger would be directed at me then, and also my gutt feeling is to say you are the adult here own your own feelings and to feel this angry you have a probelm, and I would stick up for my son, but I didn't do that this time, I remained calm and I didn't judge, I didn't go to my son and ask him to keep out of his dad's way, all I did was make my h a nice meal, talk about my day and I felt at peace, it didn't ruine my day, and what made it even better was, my husband in his own time that evening made peace with our son, and I know that was because I didn't get involved, I detached, wow, I am so greatful for the gift of Alanon the family I chose. Katy x
Arhhhh thankyou rtexas, I thought for many years that the feeling I needed to feel to be well again would be huge, but it isn't, it isn't constant either, right now it's just a few hours now and then the odd day at the moment but it's coming more, and I'm doing it myself, I never thought it possible to be happy in a situation like this but it's happening for us. Katy x
((((((((Ally))))))))) you are doing it, better than you think, we are all doing it together. When I get it wrong it seems to hurt more because I think I should alway's get it right, but that's ok, getting it wrong will become less and less as the rewards of getting it right overtakes. I was just thinking, if I had have intervened and poked my nose in my husband would have directed his anger at me, and rightly so too, thats what I would do when under threat, I would retaliate and the cause of the anger woud be destorted and lost, when I am of healthy mind I can see that clearly, also my son has to own his part too, by me playing judge and jury I am depriving my son of learning to communicate too. Katy x
