The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I hope this finds you all well. I have been off the board for a while, dealing with work, home children and a new life.
After all these years I completely split with and am divorcing my AH. I cannot even begin to tell you how free I feel. Like a huge anvil has been lifted off my head.
Several months ago my Ah got himself fired from his most recent job. This was the last straw. He took 42 days off in less than 6 months and drank on the job. His excuse for not having another job is that he is still appealing the firing. Him and his Mother demanded that I do all the legwork, and I suprised myself by telling them, NO! I have a job.
When I told him I wanted a divorce he did not believe me. Hell, why should he, I had taken him back every other time in the past. Well when it sunk in he got really nasty.
Several months ago, I began seeing a wonderful man from my past. He respects me, treats me like gold and we can talk about anything. We have fun together. I have no idea where we are going (it is way too soon) but I am happy for the first time in many years. My older children are also happy because they say they have never seen me so relaxed and happy. On a bad not my AH found out about all of this, showed up one day while my "friend" was working on my daughters car and made a scene. As expected he is now screaming adultery. That he is the poor innocent victim, that I have been complaining about his drinking and not working and his mother for years, when in reality it has been me having an affair. Of course he is trying to put the blame anywhere but on himself as usual.
He managed to con the mediator in family court into thinking he was this poor wonderful man who is trying so hard and can't get a break and that is why he is unemplyed. She tried to get me to sign for a unbelievably low amount of child support. I refused. So now I have to wait for a court date.
As his Mother is paying for an attorney for him and he has drained all of our assetts, I cannot afford one. He is trying to turn this into a whole dog and pony show.
My couison is an attorney in another state. She cannot represent me, but she can advise me how to do the leg work and write the motions etc to represent myself. So I am actually excited about this. I am doing the research and putting all of my abilities into getting myself free. I'm a little scared, but where I would have obsessed about what he will do in the past. Now I just think, let him do his worst. I will still be standing and I believe the kids and I will come out on top. We know the truth.
A whole new life awaits us, without him and without the burden he has put on us over the years. There is finally a light at the end of the tunnel.
Oh honey ((J)) I am so glad you're feeling better. I'm sorry that you're being slimed. I hope things continue to improve. I know you must feel like there's a something on your leg you can't shake off. But I know you'll get through it. Please continue to update us. I know you're on the right path.
The true measure of a man (or woman) is not how he behaves in moments of comfort and convenience but how he stands at times of controversy and challenges. Martin Luther King Jr.
I guess I can get away with giving you the following advice: Keep your head up, your emotions in check and continue to follow your dream. :)
There certainly is life after alcoholism. You are proof positive that it need not destroy us and we can rise above. It's all choices.
Gotta love ya! Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
I can relate very much. I am knee deep in legal issues about the A right now. Thank god I never married him and have the debt to contend with too. The irony is that we broke up when he was asking me to marry him. He was pretty serious too as his family members were insisting on it.
Well would ya believe it? Reading your post I was thinking....."The true measure of a man (or woman) is not how he behaves in moments of comfort and convenience but how he stands at times of controversy and challenges." Martin Luther King Jr.
I scroll down and read Christy's reply and lo and behold she beat me to it!!! LOL.
Jeannie I am SO happy for you sweet one. You and your beloved family deserve a better life.......and it brings joy to my heart to read your post. Ok so the A is acting out,and we all know they are never to blame,and rant the poor me's at us. But you are SO strong now Jeannie. You can and will do this.
Someone once told me "What goes round comes round"...not sure if I ever really believed that,since all I saw was the jerks getting everything they wanted and ........you get the picture.
Posts like this give me hope...............I just have to be patient. But I am singing with joy and doing the happy dance to hear that you are doing well,are happy and that some lucky guy has seen what we all know.
Despite all you are going through, you sound sooo good. You are setting such a great example of how when you work your program, what you can do.
I am excited for you and your new life. YOU GO YOUNG LADY! It took hubby and I 20 years to realize we belong together. He was from my past. Who knew? HP? There is nothing like a good challenge tp get my juices flowing too. A good friend once told me years ago to "Replace the word PROBLEM with the word CHALLENGE." I can hit a challenge head on. A problem I can hide under the bed! Here's hoping life is full of love, fun, laughter and all the good things we all deserve in our lives.
Much love and blessings to you and your family and your new man.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
It took hubby and I 20 years to realize we belong together. He was from my past. Who knew? HP? There is nothing like a good challenge tp get my juices flowing too. A good friend once told me years ago to "Replace the word PROBLEM with the word CHALLENGE." I can hit a challenge head on. A problem I can hide under the bed! 
Here's hoping life is full of love, fun, laughter and all the good things we all deserve in our lives.