It wasnt very long ago  i wrote this so i will post it here i meant every single word and still do.

I had to write this to you.  I am in a very new place in my life, i am shocked really. Never before have i trusted myself. I lived most of my life and still do put down by every single person that i know face to face(no exageration). I have never trusted myself to make decisions i always need major reassurance that it is ok to do first. That doesnt always come as you know. I keep going back to the first time i came to mip lately, so must mean it is time for this.  I remember being so out there and so give me an answer and yesturday! So hyper,so angry, so obessed, i lived my life in the past, i had a bad marriage and i didnt know which to share first. My thoughts went to fast however i still shared. It was when my mother was still alive, i was still married and had to little babies. Just diagnosed with depression and on a massive amount of meds.

Today i am med free, God feels like another life time ago to me...it was... I came to mip and shared and shared and vented and vented and spoke to you when i was new all the time. You were not as busy then as you are now lol.  I was in mip for a few years and finally got ti courage to divorce after i spent a year finding out my rights, and going to counceling for marriage, the ppl in the room told me it was ok to do. And so did all the doctors and even my marriage councelor told me to divorce lol. I used to complain all the time what a bad marriage i was in every single day and i never did anything about it then till years later. I remember you giving me a chance to do service work and i was stunned that you did. And eventually you gave me more and more as i told you i had alot of free time.

I left alanon after divorce i have shared before so i wont go into that now. However i took some wrong roads and i left for years. I came back a month before my mother was diagnosed with cancer and was really very angry more than the last time and i vented at everyone, im sure you remember lol. Stuff happened and eventually i lost my internet for a few months and that is when i realized i was all alone. In the beginning i thought hp was saving you all from me. However in reality he was showing me that i was capable to pick up on my own even though i have a recovery room to go to.

Before i came to this room, i was in alanon f2f and that was a social group. My recovery has come from mip. I have been to most rooms in mip and was a member in many. You gave me the courage  to try things, It amazes me how much you do for people like me. By that i mean the ones that are lost, not listened to most of the time, i felt like an invisible person in the world, someone who could be easily forgotten about and i have been most of the time in my life, its the way i felt then. If i didnt have this room i wouldnt of divorced, or gotten threw the death of my mother, or had the courage to face some things in my past.

Thank you for believing in me when no one else has. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to give service. IT is through that i learned i had skills, it was through your service work that i realized i was a efficient person in the work i do.(get compliments often on that) REalized that i am capable of much more than anyone in my life (f2f) thinks and alot more than i thought too.

I havent found the person i want to be yet. I am starting homeschooling next week!!! Never in a million years would i think i could do this.  I have a picture of who i want to be and what i want for me and my children, I dont want just serenity any longer i want complete recovery. There is a ton of more work for me to do. I feel like i have grown up a little since last year and it is you to thank for it.

You gave us all a place to come to and you ask for nothing in return. You have helped 1000's recover from the effects of alcoholism and so much more with all you have done with mip. I for one am very grateful, i want to thank you for every single thing you do for people that have no where else to turn. For the first time in my life i am being true to myself and it feels terrifying and also exciting. thank you for allowing me to recover on my own time, in my own way, without judgement. There are alot more people i could thank however they know who they are. I thank you because without you i wouldnt of met them. The ones that helped me and listened to me vent along the way. The ones that took me to pm when my anger got out of hand, and listened to me go off in pm. The ones that will continue to support me no matter how out there my decisions are. Thank you for the assurance that it is ok to be who i am and where i am in recovery. Without mip i wouldnt be where i am today which isnt as far as i wanted to be years later however hps plan looks better to me now :)

 ((((((((((((((John)))))))))))))

kerry

Turned out longer than I first thought. lol.

What has MIP done for me?

Almost exactly 1 year ago I was at wits end.  I was ready to throw in the towel and give everything up.  I was ashamed of my husband, myself, and our life.  I had let this disease eat at me so much I was a completely different person than before I was introduced to alcoholism.  I was SO angry all the time, about everything and I thought that my AH was the entire cause of it all.  If only he would put down the stupid beer and be man! lol.  In my mind he was the root of all our problems, me not taking care of myself or our home, and all of my sadness.  I was so good at taking HIS inventory without even knowing it.

Then one night in total despair I did a search online for Alcoholism and came up with MIP.  I seen the Alanon site and thought "aha they will tell me how to keep him from drinking and what a loser he is and how great I have been!"  Little did I know (and at first to my great anger) I learned that I was sick too.  What!!!  NO!  It was all him and I wanted someone  to tell me how to stop him from ruining all our lives.  I stayed around though because I started hearing stories from others and reading the literature and slogans.  Took a while, but I finally realized what a huge part in this disease I played and that alot of our problems were on my shoulders not just AH's. 

When I started implementing the things I heard and read, my life changed.  Not over night, but with alot of work.  Now I am strong, independent, and I take responsibility for my part in this disease.  From this site I have learned to detach with love, that I was a huge enabler, and so much more that I could never give back what was given to me. 

I know this has been long, but had I not stumbled across this site I would still be living that same life or worse.  I would have never walked into a room of people in my small little town to learn the things I have learned with Al Anon.  Why if I did those people would find out my shame, how different form everyone else that I thought I was!!!  MIP gave me the strength and knowledge to be able to attend f2f meetings.  This site has been a life saver for my and my family.  I am a better person now and that reflects through my actions today. I am proud.

I have this site to thank for allowing me a safe place to fall.  A wonderful group to sneak off to when I thought my world was bearing down on me.  My wonderful little secrect until the folks here helped me find the strength not to be ashamed or scared anymore. 

Simply put this room saved my life!  I love everyone here and it would be a complete shame if anything ever happened to this site. So much love and support is given, what a waste if it was ever taken away. 

Thank you John for your service!  I love you!

All I can say is that they don't call it "Miracles in Progress" for nothing. Words can't express the gratitude and love I have for this place or for the founder.  I have been in the meetings where John's shares have had me crying and touched my soul.  He's a remarkable human being.  At the end of his very, very, very long stay on this earth, we all know where he is headed.   It pains me to no end when I see a family member attacked, and for what reason?  I can only remind myself that the attacker is sick and obviously needs help.

I am at a loss for words when trying to convey what this place has done for me, and for what my family here means to me.  THANK YOU JOHN FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.   I can't even begin to imagine where I would be if I hadn't found this site.  Hubby may have continued his recovery, but that wouldn't have done me any good if I hadn't found this place and started on my journey of recovery.  It scares me to think about it.

Much love and blessings to John and his family.

Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty

Well... when I finally paid attention to my HP and tried alanon I was near collapse. My life was not only unmanageable, it was unbearable. I started going to meetings and reading literature, but found I was uncomfortable being away from my kids long enough to spend sit down time with people from my home group.

At the time, my AW and I were still living together, and I found this site. I get experience strength and hope in my meetings, but the "reason things out with one another" part of the program I needed BADLY! I found that here.

Almost 18 months and a 1000 posts later, I am just getting the tip of the iceberg in serenity, but without this site, I wouldn't even be in the lifeboat.

I am a software developer, and have been in the industry for years. Hosting a site, maintaining it and making it available to others is a bigger task than most think. I really can't even put into words what this place and these people mean to me. To say it has saved my life is not an exageration.

You and I have never really spoken, but I have such appreciation that you cared enough to make this place available to people like me.

I hope you understand what a huge service you are doing to Alanons all over the world, and can find peace in the fact that some people are , well... not good at appreciating what they have.

Take care of you my friend!