The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
hi,i recently posted that i found a small whiskey bottle in my hubbys chester drawer empty so i jumped the guns and thought he had drank it and stuck the empty bottle there but i was wrong" thank gosh",i did question him on it and he said that one of the guys at his gaurd unit gave it to him empty for use as a salt shaker,lol i get bent out of shape jus over little things such as that ,ty all for yur recent esh,sincerely pattyann
I remember once in my husband's early sobriety I worked myself up into believing - no, KNOWING - that he was off at his contact's house buying crack. Turns out he had been delivering hot meals to shut-in seniors.....
Thing is, you never REALLY know. Lying is part of the disease, and so is relapse. In the end, the only thing to do is to let him go to the shelter of his HP, and do your best to get happy whether he is drinking or not. Accept him for what he is - a sick person who wants to get well, but who may not be strong enough. Then you can decide for yourself what you can live with and what you can't.
Best thing to do pattyann, is stay out of his chest of drawers. His explanation doesn't sound very likely, but what he was doing with the bottle is his business. I will say, his answer has originality.
Best wishes,
Diva
__________________
"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
This past year, hubby had his gun cleaning fluid out and looked and smelled like vodka. I was not happy when I confronted him. Had I stopped and thought before I reacted I would have realized that he was completely sober. (I can tell so easily if he's been drinking.) There is a cleaning fluid that smells and looks like vodka. His Dad a recovering A for over 30 years as well as hunters I know have told me so. Sigh....sometimes the old habits die hard. I wonder if it's because we have nightmares about recovering A relapsing, or trust or something else? I have also found old bottles. But they were under the bed and they were dry.
Last month hubby actually found an old gingerale bottle he had hidden that he had put vodka in it. (I thought I had found every hiding place!) He left it on the table. I calmly asked him if he wanted to tell me about it. He was quite upset at the fact he use to do that. I asked him why didn't he just throw it out? He was too tired and sore (bad, bad feet). He's so adamant about not going back to that way of life. Now his meds can make him seem like he's been drinking depending on how they hit him, they time of day, how tired he is, etc.
All I can tell you is that the further out we get from when they use to be drinking, the easier and more faith I have that all will be well. I am not naive enough to think that it can never happen again. Neither is he. He always says that he is still in recovery and always will be. Because once you think that you've recovered, that's when it can and usually will happen again. You can relapse. Come to think of it, that's a good lesson for us too. A reminder to always keep working our program.
Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Best thing to do pattyann, is stay out of his chest of drawers. His explanation doesn't sound very likely, but what he was doing with the bottle is his business. I will say, his answer has originality.
Well some originality. But one doesn't have to look too far outside the ring to ask a few innocent questions. This is something to ask ourselves, not the alcoholic. Like:
1. Do people who aren't alcoholics use empty whisky bottles for salt shakers?
2. Does anyone you know keep their salt shaker in a drawer?
For me - being a sober alcoholic - I would not want a booze-bottle salt shaker, or a booze-bottle clock, or a booze-bottle knick-knack, or a neon beer sign, etc... in my house. That's just me, but I have no interest in whatever symbolic or artistic statement that might be making for me. OTOH, when I was in college, having a neon beer sign in your dorm room was "cool". I didn't... but I knew where there were some, as well as which bar they might have been pilfered from... LOL.
At any rate... alcoholics, even sober ones, are obsessed with alcohol and it's symbols and rituals. I had two "empties" I had saved as momentos for many years, and I kept them well into sobriety although they were stashed out of the way somewhere. By the time I next encountered them, they had no meaning other than getting a chuckle out of why I'd ever keep something like that, and I tossed them in the trash.
