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This morning I received a call from my ex A b/f. He blocked his # so I picked up the phone. I should know by now to never answer calls that come up restricted or private caller!!
He was just calling to see how I am doing. I told him that I'm keeping busy, going out, meeting people, etc etc. He freaked! His jealous side came out in full force which it has NEVER done to this extreme before. He told me that he gets sick thinking of me with other men! HAHA Well how the heck does he think I feel when I think of him with these other women he has in his life? What about when I see him with other women? Is he truly nuts? Does he think its ok for him to date and for me NOT to hang around with my male friends? I am not in a relationship with anyone! I am simply spending time with friends. He is so ridiculous!! I am moving on with my life, and now he's jealous! Tough shit! Let him be jealous! Let his heart feel a little of what mine did when he ended our relationship.
This may sound really mean, but I hope that SOB is hurting now! He made his decision to move on without me and now that I am moving on, he gets jealous!!
Since he has completed his steps I asked him when he was going to "make ammends" to me for all the hurt he has caused me in this past month. He didnt respond to that question! Imagine that. I dont think I'm on "his list"
Do A's ever grow up? I dont think so!
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Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want, doesn't mean that they don't love you the best way they know how
Well (((Jersey))) Don't know how each A grows up, but I do believe that people are capable of growing and maturing. The choices we make have consequences attached to them. His choice of ending the relationship leaves you free to explore and be with other people if you choose. I think there are alot of people out there that want to "have their cake and eat it too". Yeah, not sure if they live in realityville or not, I simply call them greedy and having no regard or conscious for others. Its too bad. Keep moving forward Jersey you are doing great. If he's pining away that's his problem not yours. You can lovingly detach from that emotion of jealousy as well.
Peace, Twinmom~
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
He made his choice. You are free to make yours. Tough if he doesn't like that. We take enough **** while in relationships. You are now free to do what you please. A consequence of his choice.
Doesn't sound to me like he has completed his steps at all. Just the way I see it.
Ohhhhh I'm not waiting around for anything from him. I've learned in the past year that if I wait for any kind of apology from him its just not going to happen. Besides, a simple sorry doesnt take away the pain this guy caused me and my heart. If it was sincere, maybe, but when I'm just another name on his list of people to make ammends with, it makes me feel even more significant to him. That comment about making ammends to me was made lightly, because I knew it wasnt going to happen.
As for his 12 steps; there is NO WAY in my eyes that he could have completed his steps in less than 4 months, NO WAY possible! This is something I believe takes time. And 4 months just isnt enough time in my opinion, especially with someone thats so unstable.
I do wish him the best life has to offer, DEEEEEEEEEEEEEP down, like really DEEEEEEEEP down he's a decent man, just a man with horrible addictions. He once made a comment about my addiction and had the nerve to compare it to his. My addiction is shoes!! For some strange reason, this doesnt seem to fit into the same catagory as his addiction. At least not in my mind. Shoes cant kill you and dont alter your mental state, well, unless they dont have your size HA!!
I think either he wants me to sit around and grieve over him, or just do nothing! Well, I'm not grieving anymore and I am doing things for me and my children, and actually having a ton of fun just being a mom again and going out socializing with friends! Summer is coming and I will admit I enjoy an occasional frozen raspberry margarita. That was something I gave up when I was with him. This summer, the blender will be going! Because I can drink responsibly and I'm not addicted to alcohol.
I think the nice weather is helping me get out of that rut I was in for a month. Soon I'll be soaking up the sun on the beach, swimming, boating, going to the waterparks with my children, and just having fun. Its actually nice not having to always worry about my ex A b/f, my ex dependant!!
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Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want, doesn't mean that they don't love you the best way they know how
I remember like it was yesterday my first glimpse into the "diseased alcoholic mindset". My parents had separated, and my alcoholic father (newly in recovery) had begun shacking up with another woman in the program. So, when my mother found out, she filed for divorce.
My father showed up at the house in tears, grieving, distraught. He said to her, "How could you DO this to us!" I remember being stunned that he was so unaware of his own contribution to the end of their 26 yr marraige.
It's sad to watch, but the sheep's clothing is off the wolf! This ex b/f is still very sick, and thank HP you have been given the true vision of how sick he is. You are off the hook! None of it (the end of the relationship) was your fault, you were bushwhacked by an alcoholic and do I ever understand that one. Just imagine being the alcoholic themselves, how chaotic and miserable it must be to never have an honest, truthful thought in your head, and how everything must seem so out of control, even confusing, to them.
In spite of how awful they must feel, they still know what to do to get better, and it's up to them. Congratulations, and celebrate by getting a new pair of shoes!
Hi, I definitely agree that alcoholism throws an added dimension of "stinking thinking" into the mix, but my opinion is that there are plenty of people out there who will never be happy because they're too busy looking for something more...something 'better'. I think it's hilarious that he's jealous now! He wanted to see if the 'grass was greener' on the other side, but wanted you waiting in the wings just in case. The bad news for him is... the grass isn't greener. The good news for you is...yes, it darn well is! Consequences to selfish and greedy actions are hard to face. He lost a good thing. Awww...poor baby.
Sounds like you're doing great, though! Go out, have fun, and celebrate the fact that you deserve better...
I hope one day you will forgive him for what he has done to you and your heart heals. I can hear that your very hurt. The one's we love the most are the one's that can hurt us the worst. Seems like the A's always come back around when they smell us getting better. Try not to have a revengful heart for too long because it holds you back from your progress. Once you've past that point you'll see what I mean by that. It's part of letting go. I'm not saying go be friends with him by any means...just let go with peace. One day you won't wish him mental harm. lol You won't wish him to be hurting. I'm sure he's hurting or else he wouldn't have an addiction to cover up. Know what I mean? Enjoy your life. Just say a prayer for him too here and there.
