The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I work in an adult college. Last week a student (in her 50's who I've smelled alcohol from on occasion) came a bit late to class. Class begins at 9.30am. She again smelled of alcohol, but had been trying to disguise it.
the tutor found her very negative and dragged the class down. She had no concentration.
she came to me this week, asking if I was using an airfreshener. I was, an innocuous little lavender spray, in my room only. she said she had felt unwell last week when she left and that this was because of the lavender. she hadn't even been in my room! seems I just can't get it right.....
She had gone home and convinced herself that it must have been something external that had caused her uneasiness, certainly not the alcohol she had clearly consumed in the morning.
"Denial" is a tricky word; hence one I rarely use. Here's why. When my companion started drinking after 25 years sober, it never occurred to me that he was because I knew nothing of his past history with alcohol abuse, and I had never seen him drink. I have no history of abuse in my family from which to draw experience. So, when he told me that what I was smelling was a solvent he was using in his work, I believed him. I mean REALLY believed him. A friend of mine, with whom I shared this "solvent theory" accused me on the spot of being in denial. WHAT? I had never even heard the word, "denial" used in that way. I have always resented that accusation.
Perhaps your student is in denial; perhaps not. The poor woman may be as naive I was; maybe she truly believes the air freshener made her feel ill. Maybe it did. Who knows?
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
