Hi ((((((Family)))))))

Just got home from the conference that my home group sponsors every year.

This conference is my recovery birth-place and is very special to me.I worked very, very hard this year(I was the raffle chairman) selling tickets and had to get up on stage and give out the stuff.It was a lot of fun.

Along the way I heard 3 AA speakers and 1 Al-anon speaker.They were all wonderful.Each had their own special messages that spoke to my heart.I laughed and I cried.One of the speakers has her story in the 4^th edition of the big book.She was very inspiring to me.

My group called me up on the stage during the al-anon portion of the weekend, and presented me with my 3 year chip.Wow.

Friday night we had a candle light meeting and Saturday nite a camp fire meeting.Both were held outside and were so great.The frogs were back again this year providing background music, singing their love songs along the banks of the river that runs through the grounds. At the campfire we did a guided meditation to the beat of an Indian tom tom.  Powerful.

After the camp fire, six of us sat in a cabin til 1 am just being wonderfully, joyfully silly. Laughing with each other. Happy, Joyous and Free.

It was so absolutely wonderfulto see so many of my al-anon family members.To get to spend from Friday afternoon to Sunday morning surrounded by program people.Sharing a room with my good buddy from my home group.Eating with them all.Laughing with them.Crying with them.I gave and got so many hugs.

This year I took those hugs to a new level!With no offense all my beautiful female ala-friends , I made it a point this year of hugging the men too.I had to take that easy, mind ya, cuz some of us guys aren't too receptive to that, but I learned from the body language which ones were and it felt so good.Especially the older men.It sorta felt like I was hugging my father and being hugged back by him.My dad isn't that receptive to hugs...........yet!

This mornings final speaker shared some things about his relationship with his dad that just really were so enlightening for me to better understand myself.By the time he was done I was an emotional mess......but in a good hope-filled way.

We did something new this year too.To end the conference we have a dedication ceremony every year, where we donate something (this year a concrete bench) to a prayer garden that is at the facility.This is done in honor and memory of program friends who have passed and in hope for those out there still suffering from the effects of the disease of alcoholism.This year, the committee wanted someone to play taps at the end of everything.And they asked me if I would do this (or did I volunteer..I cant remember---but Im an al-anon....so I probably volunteered....hehe) but anyway!I did that.

You know, when I hear that song played it always fills me up with so many emotions.It has always made me feel, all at once, Pride and Sadness.I think of those in the military who have sacrificed everything for my country.For the freedom and way of life that I enjoy.And I am humbled by them.So very proud.More times than not, I will cry.Cry a somehow confusing mixture of tears of joy, hope and sorrow.

When I was in high school, my senior year, I was the first chair trumpet player in my high school band.At that time, whenever there was an event in town requiring taps to be played, the high school band director would get a call, and he would ask me to go to the event.I did this willingly, but not without fear.I wanted to do a good job, cognizant of the honor doing this is.And I was so scared of making a mistake.I didn't want to let the people I was honoring down, nor did I want to look bad in front of a crowd of people.

As I stood preparing to play taps today, I was nervous, right up til the moment that it was time to play.When the nod was given for me to start, I paused a second and looked at those people.You people.My people.And saw nothing but love.No one waiting to judge how well I played.No one waiting for me to screw up so they could laugh at me.Just my family.Each thinking their own thoughts.And I am willing to bet not one of those thoughts was about David and his magical trumpet in the first damn place!I am just a vessel, not the ocean.

I played it with no fear.I played it with that strange mixture of emotions in my heart.I played it with love. It felt beautiful.

I didnt know I could cry and play the trumpet at the same time.

I love you all so very, very much.

Yours in recovery,

David