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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> How much of it is me?
Post Info TOPIC: How much of it is me?
serendipity


~*Service Worker*~

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How much of it is me?
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So, my ex ah is seeing someone new. A new woman to enable him. The last convo I had with him which was Wednesday I lost it. I was sucked into the insanity. I had asked him if he signed the divorce papers and he said yes. Well, I call my lawyer daily and he never returns my calls. This has been going on for a year with this lawyer. In this year I have been up and down, my ex and I have been close and now not close. I wanted closure on this last year at this time and there was no reason for me not to have it. None except my lawyer and his delays...laziness....whatever. Today, I finally, by chance, get  a hold of my lawyer. I called him Wed. and left a hysterical message ,I called yesterday and left a snotty message and today he picks up his phone. He says my ex has NOT signed or sent in the papers. He tried to reassure me that my ex will have to pay support (eventually) and divorce is messy. I don't understand these people that think they know everything because they are in a certain profession. I said "well, yes it is but we, you and I , are dealing with a bipolar crackaddict who is unmedicated and not self medicating as of yet and that is slightly different from your adverage "messy divorce". I have explained this to you on many occasions over the past year and you refuse to give me what I need. Which is to free legally from this ticking timebomb. He didn't stop harassing his ex till he got the divorce papers in the mail.I need you to get this done before any more happens." Ok ok he'll call my ex and talk to him to get him to send the papers and he'll call me this weekend. Yeah right, I'm not holding my breath. I gave this guy 1000 dollars 3 years ago and I offered to pay him more last year when we resumed proceedings but he refused because he felt bad that we hadn't gotten it done 3 years ago. Cool. How much more can I do? I can't afford to get a new lawyer. I can't afford to do anything at the same time I can't afford to do nothing. I swear this is not fair. I need this done. I have wanted this done. I don't think anyone believes me. People think that I haven't actively been pursuing this and I have it's my lawyer and apparently my ex. AND my ex apparently called my lawyer. I don't know about what. I have told him over and over to get a lawyer, maybe he is...he said he was....i don't know I just do not get why I surround myself with men who are like this....The only good men in my life have died and I'm left with these men. No offense to men in general. It's got to be me to an extent but I am not responsible for the stupidity or dysfunction of these men. Why can't they take responsibility?

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twinmom2


~*Service Worker*~

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((serendipity))

I'm sorry you are going through a rough time on this issue.  There are some crappy lawyers out there, and its a crap shoot as to who we hire.  I don't know the logistics of your situation, but continue to give it to HP and possibly some alternatives will open up.  You will be in my prayers to get this matter resolved as soon as possible.  How much of it is you?  Sounds like on this one it goes back to step one.  You're powerless over what your ex does, and have little control over the lawyer, however the bar association may want to know he drags his feet. Community law programs might want to know that too and not recommend him to another mom who needs to get out of a unhealthy situation.  I found a website don't know if it would apply to you, but have a look. www.fastdivorce.com Hang in there, there is a solution even to the most seemingly impossible situations. 

Peace,
Twinmom~

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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
aunitedway


~*Service Worker*~

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(((serenidipity)))      HP can help.. perhaps, even more by voicing and visualizing  to        "turn it over to HP."   

easiest for me to  let go of specific "stuff" as i prepare for sleeping.  Letting Go in order ,to help Me   rest my mind.  therein letting my body rest. 
it works for me.
just to try as a point to   just before closing your eyes., visualize(see it as a whole,)  and think to  "Let it Go.",  (The AH,  The AL awyer,   the all of the divorce.)    and...  then in the morning....once it comes to mind,  try again about letting it stay in HPS hand ..  aww.giffor the morning ...   
once its lunchtime ( so soon..lol)      try once more to Let It Go to God ....  till after dinner     and   again..... once you prepare to sleep.       i just know  if you can let go of it   for a time..,   the solution     will come about.     
wanting to   throw  in  some    .,  "keep' the faith." much love to you and i pray this too shall pass very soon for you.  

Let Go and Let Godbiggrin.gif (((serendipity)))

Keep looking uP biggrin.gif keep moving forward  biggrin.gif   WORK IT

i agree that a call to another  lawyer  telling of the situation you are facing with this current lawyer may very well   lead you to a overall  solution. collegues ethics do matter.

take what you like and leave the rest.
Ohh!  ... ohh  the meeting the othernight somone brought up  "biggrin.gifThe God Can Box."  TLM has just posted about it. its a wonderful thing.  works if you work it. 

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